Month: September 2023

Look, up in the sky. It’s a bird. It’s a plane. No. It’s a farm vehicle.

When I was a boy, we pictured farmers as, well to put it bluntly, backward.  We even had an expression for somebody who was not too savvy, saying that they had just fallen off the turnip truck.  We pictured farms with a duck duck here and a duck duck there, singing E-I-E-I-O. 

Fast forward to today, and that UFO you see in the sky might just be a farmer surveying his crops in his new electric Vertical Take-off and Landing vehicle, eVTOL, for short.  Things sure have changed.

One hundred years ago there were 6.5 million farms in the United States.  32,000,000 Americans lived on a farm.  At that time it was 30 percent of the population.  Today less than 2 percent of the U.S. population make their living as farmers.  Small farms are going out of business. Today, we are down to about 2 million farms in the United States, but they produce more than the 6.5 million farms in days of yore.

Farms have gotten larger as big corporations have gobbled up many of the small farms, and high-tech has taken over. Only the Amish still use horses to plow their fields.  Today’s tractors come with air-conditioned cabins, auto steering and GPS navigation.  They also come with huge repair bills when they break down.  No longer can a farmer just tow a broken tractor into the barn and fix it themselves.  In some cases, they are prohibited from doing this by the manufacturer, and in other cases they’re just not that easy to fix.  Today, paying manufacturers for tractor repair is quite expensive.  So many farmers are fighting for laws that give them the right to repair their own vehicles. 

Most farmers are technically millionaires.  They are worth a lot on paper, but, in reality, have trouble making ends meet, because most of their money is tied-up in land and equipment.   Now, just to stay competitive, some of them are investing in electric Vertical Take Off and Landing vehicles to monitor their crops and livestock.    Instead of singing E-I-E-I-O, they are singing “Off we go into the wild blue yonder.”  It reminds me of the old TV program Sky King, who needed an airplane to keep an eye on his farm.

So, the next time you’re sitting down at the table enjoying a delicious spread of food, take a moment to thank a farmer. Buy locally grown food, if possible…and be sure to eat your vegetables.

Peace and Love, and all of the above,

Earl

In 1961, Ray Charles had a #1 hit with “Hit the Road, Jack.” So, anyone who isn’t collecting Social Security might have to go to YouTube to hear the original before they try to sing along with this parody I wrote for Donald Trump with the help of my new friend, ChatGPT.

Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

What you say? Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

Oh, Trump, oh Trump, don’t you treat us so bad, You’re the worst President that we ever had. You said you’d drain the swamp, but it’s deeper than before, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

(Chorus) Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

What you say? Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

Oh, Mitch, oh Mitch, you obstructed with a grin, You blocked the Senate floor, to let MAGA win. You played your partisan games, but we’ll show you the door, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

(Chorus) Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

What you say? Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

Oh, Ted, oh Ted, you fled to Cancun’s sun, When Texas faced a crisis, and you thought you’d have some fun. You left your people cold, but now we’ll even the score, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more.

Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

What you say? Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

Oh, Lindsey, oh Lindsey, you flipped your stance with ease, You praised the former president, and ignored the people’s pleas. You danced around the truth, but we’ll even the score, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

(Outro) Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

All this talk lately about AI, caused me to go back and take another look at ChatGPT. I asked it to write a 5,000-word blog post about Lancaster, PA, and this is the result. I may soon be forced into retirement.

Introduction

Ah, Lancaster, Pennsylvania, the land of rolling hills, peaceful farmland, and a surprising number of horse-drawn buggies on the road. This quaint little slice of Americana has long held a special place in the hearts of travelers and locals alike. But behind its picturesque façade lies a world of eccentricities, unexpected surprises, and a whole lot of delicious Pennsylvania Dutch cuisine. So, strap in, folks, because we’re about to take a 5000-word joyride through the wonderland that is Lancaster, PA.

Chapter 1: “Buggy Bumping: The Lancaster Traffic Jam”

Lancaster’s traffic is truly one of a kind. While most cities grapple with gridlock and endless honking, Lancaster residents deal with an entirely different beast – horse-drawn buggies. It’s like a never-ending parade of four-legged commuters. Picture this: you’re running late for a meeting, and you find yourself stuck behind a buggy named ‘Buttercup’ that seems to be in no hurry at all. It’s a test of patience, my friends, and a reminder to slow down and smell the hay.

Chapter 2: “The Unlikely Lingo: Pennsylvania Dutch”

Despite the name, Pennsylvania Dutch isn’t Dutch at all. It’s actually a dialect of German, spoken by the Amish and Mennonite communities in Lancaster. Trying to decipher their conversations is like trying to understand a chicken’s clucking. “Gutentag,” “Danki,” and “Schnitzelbank” are just a few phrases you’ll encounter, and they’ll leave you scratching your head. If you ever find yourself in a heated debate about whether “shoo-fly pie” is a dessert or a bug repellent, you’re probably in Lancaster.

Chapter 3: “Amish Hipsters: The Original Trendsetters”

The Amish people are known for their simple, traditional way of life. But here’s the twist – they inadvertently became the OG hipsters. Picture this: long beards, handmade clothes, and a predilection for local, organic food. Sound familiar? The Amish were rocking the beard trend way before it hit Brooklyn, and they were all about farm-to-table before it was cool. They even have their own version of “Farmers’ Markets” – they call them “Roadside Stands,” and trust me, they’re Instagram gold.

Chapter 4: “Shoofly Pie: A Sweet Mystery”

One of the culinary highlights of Lancaster is the mysterious shoofly pie. It’s a molasses-rich, crumbly concoction that seems like it was dreamed up in the kitchens of Willy Wonka himself. The origins of its name are as clear as molasses, but one thing’s for sure: you can’t leave Lancaster without trying a slice. Just don’t expect it to shoo away actual flies. Unless those flies are really into molasses, that is.

Chapter 5: “The Legend of Whoopie Pie”

If shoofly pie is Lancaster’s sweet mystery, then whoopie pies are its sugary superheroes. These delightful sandwich cookies, made from two moist cake-like cookies and a creamy filling, have a unique origin story. Legend has it that Amish wives would put them in their husbands’ lunchboxes, and when the men would find them, they’d shout, “Whoopie!” Whether true or not, one thing is certain – whoopie pies are so good that they’ll make anyone shout for joy.

Chapter 6: “Corn Mazes and Hayrides: Lancaster’s Wild Side”

You might think Lancaster is all about tranquil farmland, but come autumn, things get wild. Corn mazes pop up all over the place, and they’re like a real-life episode of “Lost.” It’s all fun and games until you realize you’ve been wandering in circles for hours, and your survival skills are put to the test. And don’t even get me started on hayrides – it’s a cozy, rustic activity until someone accidentally sits on a rogue pitchfork.

Chapter 7: “When the Tourists Come to Town”

Lancaster’s residents are used to tourists flocking to the area to experience the Amish lifestyle and sample the local delicacies. But every now and then, you’ll spot a tourist who’s taken their enthusiasm to a whole new level. Picture this: a family dressed head-to-toe in bonnets, suspenders, and straw hats, trying to hitch a ride on a passing buggy. It’s like a real-life episode of “Amish Swap,” and it’s just another day in Lancaster.

Chapter 8: “Barn Raisings and Butter Churnings: Amish DIY Extravaganza”

If there’s one thing the Amish excel at, it’s DIY projects. Their barn raisings are like a cross between a construction site and a neighborhood block party. Imagine 50 people working together to raise a barn in a single day, all fueled by shoofly pie and whoopie pies. And let’s not forget butter churnings, where the Amish turn cream into butter with the kind of enthusiasm usually reserved for dance-offs. DIY in Lancaster is serious business, folks.

Conclusion

Lancaster, Pennsylvania, may not be your typical tourist destination, but it’s a place filled with quirks, charm, and an unexpected dose of humor. From the never-ending parade of buggies to the sweet mysteries of shoofly pie and whoopie pies, Lancaster is a delightful slice of Americana that’s bound to leave you with a smile on your face. So, if you ever find yourself in the heart of Pennsylvania Dutch Country, be sure to slow down, savor the sights and sounds, and embrace the unique charm of Lancaster, PA – it’s a journey worth taking, one buggy at a time.

Peace & Love, and all of the above.

Earl

My new apartment is just opposite a storefront Pentecostal Church.  They hold services on Sunday, hours before my normal rising time, and they are loud.  From the size of the building, I can’t imagine it holds more than 25-50 people, but what they lack in numbers, they sure make up for in volume.  Ironically, I actually enjoy waking up to their songs on Sunday mornings.  The female parishioner, who is leading the congregation, manages to get everyone into the spirit, even me.

They don’t sing in English, so I don’t know what they’re saying, but it has spirit, lots of spirit, and I lie in bed and try to imagine what is going on.  I picture a scene near the end of an old Tarzan movie, after Tarzan has somehow saved the day for the tribe.  The natives are having a massive feast, dancing and chanting, and just as happy as can be.  That’s what it sounds like, to me.  The joy just seems to fill the neighborhood.

I didn’t hear them yesterday, and I don’t know why.  I just know that I was disappointed not to hear them.  It is a Sunday ritual I was beginning to enjoy very much.  In some way, it also provides me with a sense of connection with the neighborhood.  I don’t understand a word they are saying, but I feel the connection.  I guess that you could compare it to back when I was a Catholic and the mass was in Latin.  I didn’t understand all the words, but I felt the vibe.

I listened to a YouTube lecture this week given by Professor Robin Dunbar.  He is most famous for “The Dunbar Number,” 150.  His research revealed that 150 is the optimum number of meaningful contacts human beings should have.  If we have more meaningful contacts than that, we stretch ourselves too thin, and we cannot devote the proper amount of time to nurturing each relationship.  If we have fewer meaningful contacts, we can feel lonely.

This particular lecture, which I watched, was on the formation of the various religions, and their role in society.  Right away, he answered the first question that I and other Atheists and Agnostics would ask.  Why do people believe so strongly in something that cannot be proved?  His answer is that most people are not obsessed by Theology.  They didn’t study the 3,000 or so world religions and pick the one that had views closest to their own.  Instead, they simply attended the church their parents attended.  They grew to enjoy the company of other members of the church and developed a social bond with them.  The more often they went to church the stronger that bond became.  Infrequent church goers felt close to a couple other church goers.  Frequent church goers felt close to most of the other church goers, and people who went to church more often than once a week felt close to almost everyone in their congregation.  Basically, going to church made you feel happy, and you would be happiest if the congregation size was about 150 people.

The next thing he discussed was rituals.  People love rituals, and Religions are loaded with rituals.  The most popular rituals involved singing and dancing.  No wonder the Pentecostals across the street radiate joy.  They fit into the happiest category, church-goers, who like to sing and dance.  (Since I can’t see them, I don’t know if they are actually dancing, but I know that I can’t sit still while their music is playing.)

So, I’m still an Atheist, but now I see a purpose for religion, as a lubricant for social interaction and a source of pleasure for millions of people.  It doesn’t make any difference to me what they believe, as long as it isn’t “Kill non-believers.”

To address the lack of opportunities for Atheists to enjoy these benefits of religion, I’m even thinking of forming my own Church.  We would meet on Wednesdays, since that doesn’t seem to compete with any other religions, and our creed would be, “Believe whatever you want to believe, just don’t expect me to believe that, too.  Sing, dance, love your neighbor, and be happy.”

Since a good religion also has rituals that people can look forward to, we would probably serve beer.

Sing Halleluia.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

“Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state

Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started, wait

The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool

Neanderthals developed tools

We built a wall* (we built the pyramids)

Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries

That all started with the big bang (bang)”

*Mexico did not pay for this wall.

Einstein presented us with his most famous formula over a hundred years ago, and, still, most of us don’t really know what it means.  Most of us can translate it into English, though.  Energy is equal to Mass times the speed of light squared.  Since scientists have measured the speed of light at an astonishing 186,000 miles per second, it figures that a tiny amount of mass multiplied by 186,000 x 186,000 is a really big number.  So, an awful lot of energy can be obtained from a small amount of matter.  The Atomic Bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki proved that.  Conversely a lot of energy can convert a lump of coal into a diamond.

Energy and mass are interchangeable.  The more energy you have, the more mass that it can be converted into.  The more mass you have the more energy you can get from it.  If you have zero energy, you have zero mass, and vice versa, if you have zero mass, you have zero energy.

The Law of Conservation of Mass says that Matter can change form through physical and chemical changes, but through any of these changes matter is conserved.  The same amount of matter exists before and after the change – none is created or destroyed. A rusty metal bar weighs more than a shiny metal bar, because oxygen has been added to the metal, increasing its weight ever so slightly.  The weight of the rusty bar is equal to the weight of the original metal plus the added oxygen.

Just one more bit of science and I’ll make my point.

The amount of energy/matter in the universe is constant.  Over time, this energy becomes more and more spread out and less and less useful, even though the actual amount doesn’t change.

Now my point.

“In the beginning,” our world was not made out of nothing.  There wasn’t any matter, but there was an enormous amount of concentrated energy, which could be converted into matter.  “The whole universe was in a hot, dense state.”

Fourteen billion years ago (or maybe even further back) expansion started.  The Universe began to cool, and with this expansion and cooling, Energy was able to convert into matter, first hydrogen, then helium, then the suns, planets, moons, gases, and all the other elements.

So, while some people say that this world was created from nothing, that is not true.  There was always energy, which was converted into matter, and if the expansion of the Universe ever reverses, all the matter will once again return to energy, “a hot dense state,” and then the whole process will probably repeat, and that energy will expand and convert into matter.  World without end.  Amen.

Peace and Love, and all of the above,

Earl