Travels down the Hershey Highway

I debated with myself whether I should write this article or not.  It’s not a pleasant subject, but it does contain a valuable lesson, so I’m going to write it.  I’ll try not to be too crude and I’ll keep it as brief as possible.

Several months ago I watched a show about Fascism under Mussolini.  He would round up his enemies and opponents and have them marched across town.  Then he would make them drink a cup of castor bean oil and march them back across town.  Invariable the laxative effect of the castor oil would make them soil their pants as they walked, and they had to walk all the way across town like that.  I got two things out of this video. One, dictators are sadistic and cruel.  Two, Castor Bean Oil is a powerful laxative.

Since I occasionally suffer from constipation. I decided to order a bottle of it.  To qualify for free shipping, I ordered 2 bottles and a rechargeable portable hand-held mini bidet.  I figured the two products could both come in handy if I ever needed them.

I realized today that I hadn’t had a bowel movement in days.  I was worried and I decided it was finally time to try the Castor Bean Oil treatment.  I took a big gulp of it and 15 minutes later the blockage was easily eliminated without the moaning and groaning, grunting, and rapid breathing that usually accompany multi-day bowel movements.  Mission Accomplished.

But, similar to George W. Bush’s mission, it was not yet complete.  I had to hover in or near the bathroom for the next five hours in what I can only describe as a Colonoscopy prep without the green Gatorade.

So, what did I learn?  First, I learned that the next time I am in this situation, start with just a half-teaspoon of Castor Bean oil, and secondly, I learned to make sure to charge the batteries of the hand-held portable bidet, before taking the Castor Bean Oil.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl