Educated people don’t believe in unicorns. Or mermaids. Or Atlantis, Bigfoot, or the Fountain of Youth. These are dismissed as charming myths—cultural artifacts with no empirical backing. And rightly so. We’ve combed the forests, dredged the lakes, and carbon-dated the ruins. No horned horses. No fish-women. No golden cities.
But God? That’s different.
Despite the same lack of physical evidence, belief in God is not only accepted—it’s revered. Taught in schools, sworn on in courtrooms, and invoked in campaign speeches. The same minds that scoff at fairy tales will defend divine presence with philosophical rigor and moral urgency.
This isn’t a jab at faith—it’s a spotlight on the intellectual gymnastics required to hold both positions. The educated skeptic who demands peer-reviewed proof for mythical beasts will often grant God a pass. “It’s about faith,” they say. “Transcendence. Meaning.”
But why does God get the exemption? Why not the unicorn, who at least has the decency to sparkle?
Maybe it’s not about evidence at all. Maybe it’s about utility. God offers moral scaffolding, community, and cosmic comfort. Unicorns offer glitter and horn-based combat. One gets a cathedral; the other gets a Lisa Frank folder.
So, we believe what serves us. Not what’s proven. And maybe that’s the real myth: that educated people believe only what’s true.
This isn’t a call to abandon belief. It’s a call to examine it. To ask why some unproven ideas are cherished while others are ridiculed. To recognize that even the most rational minds are shaped by culture, emotion, and need.
And if we’re going to believe in things unseen, maybe we should give the unicorn a second chance. At least she never started a war.
On January 22, 1973, the Supreme Court issued its landmark 7–2 decision in Roe v. Wade, protecting a woman’s constitutional right to choose.
The Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization decision, made by the US Supreme Court on June 24, 2022, overturned Roe v. Wade and Planned Parenthood v. Casey, and removed the constitutional right to abortion in the United States. The decision gave states the power to regulate abortion access, and it has led to significant changes in abortion access across the country.
In the case of Engel v. Vitale, The Supreme Court ruled in 1962 that school-sponsored prayer in public schools is unconstitutional.
I think that this will be the next thing that Evangelical Christians will use this Supreme Court to try to overturn.
Why? It’s the same reason that Evangelical Christians overthrew Roe v Wade. It’s because they’re losing, and they’re scared.
Losing? They’re winning, you might say. They got what they wanted, but I ask you, for how long?
We like to say that our country was founded by people who came here to promote religious freedom. That’s just not true. The country was founded by people who were not welcomed in Europe because their religious beliefs were not accepted by the ruling majority. The Pilgrims came here because Europe didn’t want them. They didn’t come here to promote all religious freedom. They came here for the freedom to practice their religion.
Other religious groups came here for the same reason, for the freedom to practice their religion, not to promote religious freedom for everyone. Some groups, like the Mormons, sprung up with new, unpopular religions, and they migrated to Utah, to have a place where they could freely practice a religion that the majority of the country thought was weird.
So, while many of the first settlers came here to be able to openly practice their religious beliefs, not all of their descendants continued to practice that religion. Some converted to other religions, and some even stopped believing in God. There are now dozens of different religions being practiced in the United States, including Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Sikhism, Jainism, Baha’i, Wicca, Native American religions, and many others.
And then came Communism, an ideology that included Atheism. With that, came the Cold War. Good God-fearing people of the U.S. vs the godless Russians. We had to win the Cold War, because we had God on our side. We were, therefore, morally superior. To further our cause, the phrase “one nation under God” was added to the Pledge of Allegiance in the United States on June 14, 1954, when President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed a bill into law.
On July 30, 1956, the 84th Congress passed a joint resolution “declaring ‘IN GOD WE TRUST’ the national motto of the United States.” The resolution passed both the House and the Senate unanimously and without debate. It replaced E pluribus unum, (Out of many, one.) which had existed before as a de facto official motto. Take that you godless Ruskies. We had God on our side, and we could prove it. It said so right on our money.
Then The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was formally dissolved as a sovereign state and subject of international law on 26 December 1991. We didn’t need to invoke the alliance of an almighty God to defeat the Russians, anymore. We won.
But like the song says, “Something’s lost when something’s gained.” When we faced the Soviet Union only 2% of Americans called themselves Atheists. Since the Soviet Union dissolved in 1991, however, those numbers are growing steadily. Today, about 28% of U.S. adults are religiously unaffiliated, describing themselves as atheists, agnostics or “nothing in particular” when asked about their religion. A growing percentage of Americans want freedom of religion to now also include freedom from religion.
This is why religious organizations are getting scared. Church attendance is way down. 32% of Americans attended church weekly in 2000. Now, according to Gallup, only 20% of Americans attend church every week, while only 41% attend at least once a month. The percentage of Americans who never or seldom attend religious services is 57%. That translates to fewer people tossing their money into the collection plate, which is a major concern for all religions. God may be all-powerful, but He still needs money to carry on His work.
So, the Religious Right is leading the charge to bring back religion, but deep down they know it is a losing battle. While they still have the numbers, though, they are doing everything in their power to legislate religion. In Louisiana, they recently passed a law to display the Ten Commandments in every public school. They are threatening doctors who perform abortions with jail time, and they are screaming that all the school shootings are not caused by assault weapons, but by the assault on religion. They don’t want to get rid of the guns. Their answer is to bring back mandatory prayers in school.
White groups are also worried about losing their grip on America. With less than 61% of the population representing as White, they are afraid that soon they will be the minority. They’ve already seen the country elect a mixed-race President. So, they are trying to limit the number of non-whites who can enter this country and become citizens. They want to limit immigration to only the “good countries,” meaning, of course, the white countries.
White Nationalists and Christian Fundamentalists are combining in a futile effort to bring back “the good old days” when only white men became President and God was on our side. They won’t do anything about assault weapons in the schools, but they will be down on their knees praying for the overturning of Engel v. Vitale, and a return to the “good old days.”
Today, I asked Claude to write a parody of the John Milton poem Paradise Lost in the irreverent British style of Ricky Gervais, but performed before an American audience, with Donald Trump, of course, in the role of Satan. After a few tweaks, we got this:
So, there’s this dude called God, right? He’s made the universe and everything, but he’s pretty ticked off because his favorite angel, Donald J. Lucy-fer (it’s a tremendous name, really the best), has gone and thrown a yuuuge tantrum. Apparently, Lucy-fer didn’t like God’s new policy of “worship me or else,” calling it “fake news” and a “total witch hunt.”
Well, God’s not having any of that. He kicks Lucy-fer and his gang out of heaven faster than Twitter banning an account. Down they go into this place called Hell – imagine the worst Trump property you’ve ever seen, but on fire. We’re talking “We have the heats.” It’s like someone took Trump Steaks and cranked them up to well-done with ketchup… for eternity.
Now Lucy-fer, who we’re calling Satan because it polls better with evangelicals, is seriously pissed off. He’s thinking, “We’re gonna make Heaven pay for this. It’s gonna be great, folks.” So he slithers up to Earth, not so much auditioning for “Snake’s Got Talent” as hosting “The Apprentice: Garden of Eden Edition.”
Meanwhile, God’s gone all NSA, watching everything on his celestial TV (which, by the way, has the best ratings, just fantastic). He sees Satan coming but does he do anything? Nah, he’s playing 4D chess, apparently. “My son will sort it,” he says. “He’s got the best words.”
Down in Eden, the world’s first gated community with a strict no-clothes policy, Satan finds Eve. Now Eve’s never seen a snake before, let alone one trying to push Trump-brand apples. “Listen, honey, you gotta try this fruit. It’s gonna make Eden great again, believe me.” So she does, and then she gets Adam in on it too – it’s a perfect phone call, really. Suddenly, they realize they’re buck naked and go into a panic like they’ve just found out their tax returns are being audited.
God finds out because of course he does – he’s got angels, the best angels, in the FBI (Fruit Bitten Intelligence). He goes ballistic. “Adam! You’re fired!” Adam, being the first man to throw his wife under the Access Eden bus, replies, “She made me do it! Grab ’em by the apple!” Real presidenti– uh, chivalrous, dude.
So God kicks them out of Eden. No golden parachute, nothing. Just a flaming sword at their backs and a lifetime of “I’m Eve, and I don’t really care, do U?” jackets. Eve’s thinking, “All this for an apple? I thought the Trump Diet was all about McDonald’s.”
The story ends with Adam and Eve wandering off, probably to invent locker room talk and the phrase “I’ll release my medical records when Eden releases its birth certificate.” And God’s up there planning the mother of all redemption arcs involving his son and a bestseller called the Bible – because nothing says “art of the deal” like a flood and some plagues before the big finale.
And that, folks, is Paradise Lost – where the snake talks like he’s at a rally, the humans are dumb as rocks (the best rocks, from Trump Quarries), and God proves he’s got a flair for the theatrical that makes WrestleMania look like community theater. Thank you, and don’t forget to tip your waitress – she’s working for minimum wage in a universe created by an omnipotent being who, I assume, has some good people on both sides.
earlthepearl137 