It’s time for this Circus to end

Drawing by Eric Fischl

Why is Donald Trump involved in so many legal cases?  I grew up in New York, so I first heard the name Donald Trump a long time ago.  He was always in the newspaper where they always had a photo of him at a high-class club with a high-class model.  He, himself, though, wasn’t very high class.  He fancied himself as a rich tycoon playboy.  He also acted like he had the Midas touch, turning every business deal into a fortune all by himself.  As I grew up, I learned that much of his wealth was inherited from his father, and his business deals weren’t always successful.  Many of his companies were forced to declare bankruptcy.   Rumors also abounded that he had used discriminatory practices in his real estate business.  Nobody in authority went after him though, because people didn’t take him seriously.  He was just a clown who could always be found on Page Six of the Post.

He used his fame to increase the value of his real-estate holdings, merely by putting his name on the buildings.  Eventually, he spread into other areas – Trump steaks, Trump University, Trump Vodka, Trump Casinos, Trump Shuttle, and Trump Magazine.  His business ventures weren’t always profitable, but they all added to his name recognition, and that was enough to keep him in the limelight.  He wound up starring in his own reality TV show, The Apprentice.  His big catchphrase during the show’s long run was “You’re fired.”  People loved hearing him say that, and he had millions of adoring fans.  He then used his growing fame and name recognition to become the 45th President of the United States, and that’s where his storybook life started unraveling.  He had bitten off more than he could chew.  When one of his companies was in financial trouble, he could simply declare the company bankrupt.  You can’t do that with the National Debt, though.  You can’t make trillions of dollars in National Debt go away by declaring bankruptcy.  This was a financial problem he couldn’t solve in the courtroom.  Then, his problems became even worse.  Covid hit.

The top scientists in the world weren’t sure how to handle the epidemic.  Neither did he, but he assured everyone that it would all go away when the weather warmed up.  The weather did warm up, but so did Covid.  It killed more than a million Americans and cost him the election in 2020.  Then, he crossed the line.  He fired up his base and got them to believe that the election had been stolen.  He fanned the flames until a full-scale insurrection took place at the Capital Building, where his followers attacked Capital Police to try to prevent the counting of the electoral votes for Joe Biden.  He became the first President in U.S. history to fail to concede the election gracefully.  There were other contested elections in American history, and in 1876, the supporters of Samuel Tilden declared that he was robbed of the Presidency and demanded “Tilden or blood.”  Samuel Tilden put an end to that by conceding the election and telling his followers to accept Rutherford B. Hayes as the President.  Al Gore took his fight to the Supreme Court, which ended his non-violent protest by declaring George Bush the winner in Florida and the winner overall.  Al Gore then conceded the election and rode off into the political sunset.

Donald Trump didn’t concede.  He plotted to find a way to hold onto power.  January 6th was his Rubicon, and he crossed it.  He still looked like a clown with his orange face and ridiculous comb-over, but he was now taken seriously.  He violated his oath to the Constitution and posed a clear and present danger to Democracy itself.  That opened the floodgates against him.  Prosecutors, who had in the past looked the other way, when his circus came to town, now knew that they finally had to take a stand.  When the U.S. Senate refused to find him guilty of acts for which the House of Representatives had impeached him, local prosecutors picked up the fallen torch and took up the challenge.  They ripped the band-aids off old wounds and dug up the graves where his violations had been buried for years.  They attacked him in New York, Florida, Georgia, and eventually in Washington, D.C.  For 76 years he had been the Teflon Don, but now he had gone too far.  He was no longer a mere con man fleecing suckers to build an empire.  He was now a crazed narcissist who was willing to tear down an entire country to establish his own empire in the ashes.

That’s when Americans went from laughing at Donald Trump to worrying if he would unleash his base to commit unspeakable atrocities to keep him in power or at least out of jail.  Nobody laughs when his circus comes to town anymore.  He is a wannabe dictator, who calls his political foes “vermin,” just like Hitler did in his rise to power.  It’s not a laughing matter anymore.  He must be stopped, but to keep Democracy alive, he has to be stopped legally.  He and his thugs have hinted at “2nd Amendment solutions” for their own problems, but we have to take the higher ground to end his reign of terror.  Our weapons must be the courts and the ballot box.  So, we will have to endure months, and maybe even years of court cases before he is finally stopped, but he will be stopped, because he crossed the line, and the majority of Americans know it.  He will still have his neo-nazi cult members who follow his orders, but we’ve dealt with Nazis in the past, and we are plenty strong enough to trounce them again.  It’s time for the American people to let Donald Trump know that his days as ringleader are over, his circus is not wanted, and he’s fired.  He probably deserves an actual firing squad, but putting him in jail will have to suffice.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

On a School Night

My heart goes out to the Trump family.  Those poor people.  The subject of numerous Witch hunts, Indictments falling like autumn leaves around them, political opponents wanting to lock them up, former cronies plea bargaining to testify against them, and rude fat men in gaudy clothes trampling on their dear departed mother’s grave in golf spikes, screaming “Fore” instead of “Four more years.”  How much more does this family have to endure? 

Now the mean old New York Attorney General, Letitia James, wants to put Donald’s children on the stand to testify against him.  Donald Jr, the eldest at 540 months old, will be expected to know Generally Accepted Accounting Practices, a subject that was never brought up in the Trump household.  Cooking the Books was the job of incredibly well-paid fully trusted accountants, who didn’t realize that they were expendable and would be thrown under the bus at the first sign of trouble.  Ivanka, the baby of the group, at just 468 months old, is immune from prosecution due to the statute of limitations running out, but she will still have to somehow explain to her husband Jared that he is going to have to babysit their baby mama children while she goes to New York for the trial.  Eric, the 516-month middle child will be tested to see if he can walk and chew gum at the same time.  Otherwise, Judge Engoron may remove him to a foster home.

At the same time, Georgia District Attorney Fanni Willis wants to put The Bronze Bomber in jail for tinkering with the Presidential election there.  “Is it a crime to go looking for 11,780 votes in a closet somewhere in Georgia Secretary of State Raffensperger’s office?” said Trump.  “I’ve got way better stuff I keep in boxes in the bathroom at Mar a Lago.”  “I’m willing to trade nuclear secrets for 11,780 votes.  I asked Rudy Guiliani to help me on that one, but he had a melt down – literally.”

Then to make matters worse, poor Donald wound up with Jack Smith as a Special Prosecutor in his Insurrection trial.  This particular Mr. Smith didn’t leave his job prosecuting war criminals to go to Washington to just talk, talk, talk.  He’s not too fond of Trump talking either, and he keeps requesting gag orders against the Strawberry-blond bombshell.

Then Trump lost a rape case to Jean Carroll, and porn queen Stormy Daniels is defying a non-disclosure agreement to tell everyone that the Donald’s penis looks like a tiny little mushroom.    Now, political cartoonists draw his hands even smaller than they used to.  At least the Donald still has Melania right there at his side, just a few thousand miles away.  She says that she will stay loyal to her husband, because she doesn’t want to end up buried in a sand trap on a golf course like Ivana.

The Donald doesn’t have much going for him legally these days, but he is making a fortune on merchandise.  Red MAGA hats were his big sellers, but now Mug Shot Mania has taken over and Mug Shot shot glasses are lined up in right-wing bars across the Red States.  Unfortunately, the Conservative Evangelicals who support him are not allowed to be caught drinking in public, but they do have the collectors item glasses in their home bars hidden in the basement.

One glimmer of hope remains for our poor tortured hero.  The Republicans in the House of Representatives elected Mike Johnson as speaker.  He wants to replace the Constitution with the Bible, and there’s nothing in the Bible about punishing a man for just looking for 11,780 votes or cheating on his taxes, as long as he’s not a homosexual, a drag queen, or providing Johnson’s son Jack with porn.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl