The Magic of Misdirection

There’s an old joke that goes like this:

Juan comes up to the U.S./Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two very large bags over his shoulders. The American guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?”

“Just sand,” answered Juan.

The guard says, “We’ll just see about that. Get off the bike.” The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A day later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, “What have you got?”

“More sand,” says Juan.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years. Finally, one day, Juan doesn’t show up.  It also happens, that this day turns out to be the guard’s last day of work before he retires.  He is frustrated that he never solved this case, and he just has to know what Juan’s been doing all these years, so, after work, he goes to a few bars in Mexico until he finally finds Juan.

“Hey, Buddy,” says the guard, “I retired today, so I won’t do anything to you, but I just know you were smuggling something these last three years. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I can think about….. I can’t sleep, and I’d like to retire with some peace of mind. Just between you and me, please tell me what you were smuggling.”

Juan took a sip of his beer and casually said, “Bicycles.”

The sandbags in the joke were used for misdirection.  It wasn’t so much smuggling that Juan was doing.  It was magic through misdirection.

Recently, Donald Trump has been running a lot of ads where he pronounces that if he becomes President again, he will eliminate all taxes on tips.  This is good news for waiters, waitresses, barmen, barmaid, bellhops, cabbies, and everyone else who works for low wages and depends upon tips.  I had to ask myself, though, “Why is Trump making so much of this?”  He’s a man who only thinks of himself.  So, what’s in it for him?  I saw the trick, but what was the magic involved?  Where was the misdirection, and, especially, where was his trademark fear?

Trump focuses his campaign on fear.  He says that if Harris wins, there will be World War III, there will be a 1929-style depression, and illegal immigrants will kill you and your family, eat your dog, and take your home and your jobs.  He said the same things would happen if Biden was elected in 2020.  He plays on fear, and fear of non-white immigrants is his specialty.  He got elected in 2016, by promising to build a wall across the entire southern border.  It worked then.  It got him elected, and, since he never actually built the wall, he is still able to campaign on the same issue.  He will say or do anything to make his base fear immigrants.  “They’re eating your pets,” he tells them, and he, and only he, can and will be their protector. 

Where was the “fear factor” in declaring that he will stop taxing tips, though?  It was actually such a popular “concept” that Kamala Harris quickly supported the idea herself, and said her Administration would not tax tips, either.

So, let me play Penn & Teller, who had a television program where they showed you how magic tricks were performed, and I’ll explain the magic trick.

In 2022, Vice President Kamala Harris cast the tiebreaking vote in the Senate to pass a bill that, in part, gave money to the Internal Revenue Service.

Speaking in Las Vegas, Trump told his followers: “Kamala cast the tiebreaking vote to hire 87,000 new I.R.S. agents to go after your tip income.”  Two days later, Trump ran an ad that said, “Harris and Biden have literally unleashed the I.R.S. to harass workers who receive tips.”

Frequently during his rallies, especially when talking about one of his court cases, he tells the audience, “They are coming for YOU, but I am in their way.”  He, and only he, can and will be the great protector for his followers against the evil “Them.”  There’s the fear factor.  He told the multitude of people in Las Vegas, who work for tips, that Kamala Harris cast the deciding vote to bolster the I.R.S. and now the I.R.S. is coming after all those workers who haven’t been declaring all their tips for tax purposes.  He is the only one standing up for his followers against “Them.”  Kamala even wants to increase the number of I.R.S. agents.  If Trump wins the election, he promises to drastically reduce the number of I.R.S. agents.

Ah, there’s the rub. That’s the misdirection.

In 2023, the I.R.S. did use money from the Inflation Reduction Act to pay for 13,661 positions, including 495 for enforcement.  From 2024 to 2030, the agency expects to hire about 32,500 more for enforcement.

That seems to prove Trump’s point.  Magically prove it.  But here’s the tricky part.

The I.R.S. has been focusing on enforcement against large corporations and wealthy taxpayers.  Since the law passed in 2022, the I.R.S. has collected more than $1 billion from high-wealth taxpayers.  They are not targeting the chump change in your tip jar.  They are going after the big bucks, the ultra-rich corporations and the people who refuse to pay their fair share of taxes.  They are not coming after you.  They ARE coming after Donald Trump, Elon Musk, Peter Thiel, the chief contributor to J.D. Vance, Rupert Murdock, and the Fortune 500 companies which pay lower income tax rates than the average high-school teacher.

Donald Trump is not your protector.  He is certainly not standing between your tip jar and the I.R.S.  He is trying to get you to protect him.  Vote for him and he will fire half the I.R.S. agents on Day One.  He’ll be glad to do it.  The only thing that will make him happier on Day One is pardoning himself for any and all the crimes he’s committed.

According to the U.S. Constitution, billionaires like Pay Pal founders Elon Musk, Peter Thiel, and Rupert Murdoch can’t become President, because they were not born in the United States.  Musk was born in South Africa. Thiel was born in Germany, and Murdoch was born in Australia.  They can, however, use their vast media enterprises, social networks, and resources to try to buy the election for a not-so-smart aging white guy who can easily be flattered into tearing up that Constitution and happily cutting taxes for the rich and the restless once again.

We, the People of the United States, need to protect our Constitution and our country.  We need to keep Donald Trump and his ilk as far away from the Oval Office as possible.  We need to elect Harris/Walz in November.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

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