The Great Flood of Tourists

“Noah, how long can you tread water?”

-God

 

Nothing crazy has been happening in my life lately. The library had a big clearance sale on books, CDs, and DVD’s, and I walked away with enough material to keep me busy for months. So, I’ve been either listening to CDs, watching movies, or sitting on my back porch reading. Oh, I’ve also been practicing my clarinet for an hour a day. You’re lucky I can’t post sound on this website, or you would have to suffer though my squeaky rendition of This Is the Moment from the musical Jekyll and Hyde. To my great surprise, though, the neighbors have actually been very supportive and encourage me by telling me that they think I’m improving with practice. Of course, they’re not really sure, because they don’t recognize any of the old songs I’m playing. So, they don’t know what it’s supposed to sound like, but at least I’m not playing as many squeaky notes as before. They consider that an improvement.

Fortunately, during this calm period in my life, I still have a crazy friend to provide fodder for my stories. My friend Debbie and her mother went to visit the Creation Museum in Kentucky, where “the Bible vividly comes to life.” Evidently, this is the Mennonite equivalent to a trip to Disney World.

Just enter the Creation Museum and you’re transported back to the very beginning – 6,000 years ago, when dinosaurs and people roamed the earth together, and where the Big Bang Theory is Fake News. Don’t laugh. Recent surveys show that 41% of Americans believe that dinosaurs and people coexisted. (If you find that hard to believe, remember that 46% of American voters also thought that Donald Trump was a good choice for President.) Exhibits at the Creation Museum even show you how dinosaur fossils were created by the great flood that happened during Noah’s day. They even have a real live archaeologist to show you how it happened.

You can take a stroll through the Garden of Eden and watch how God created woman from Adam’s rib. I think that the refreshment stand there probably offers everything but apples. Then, after touring the hundreds of biblical dioramas, hop aboard the centerpiece of the Park, the life-sized version of Noah’s Ark (300 cubits long). Since a cubit is equal to the length of an average forearm, that means it’s about the size of 1 and a half football fields, plenty of room for 2 of every kind of animal, except, of course, for the poor dinosaurs and unicorns, who somehow missed the boat.

Debbie complained that while they were visiting Noah’s Ark it rained the whole time. Does anyone else find that funny?

Faith can move mountains, and it can also sell a lot of souvenirs.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl