Dream On

“When I want you in my arms, when I want you with all your charms, whenever I want you all I have to do is dream.”

-The Everly Brothers

Dream, dreamy, dreamboat, dream job, girl of my dreams. All of these things make dreams sound really great, but usually my dreams suck. I’m not talking about nightmares, those scary dreams where you’re chased by fire-breathing dragons, ax-wielding murderers, horrible one-eyed monsters, or Jehovah’s Witnesses. I’m talking about my run of the mill dreams. They usually suck.

Every night I go to bed with high hopes and expectations. I figure that dreams are supposed to be way better than reality. I hope for big wonderful dreams. I like to write screenplays, so I hope that I will find myself at the Academy Awards and they will call out my name for best screenplay. Or a Hollywood studio will ask me to help cast the role of the beautiful Alice in my screenplay Two Ships Passing…One Failing. I’ll be in a room with a couple dozen beautiful women, and they will all be flirting with me (even if they are just acting).

I like Harness Racing, and the Hambletonian is one of their biggest races. So, I close my eyes at night and I hope that I will dream that I am driving the winner of the Hambletonian. He is a beautiful horse and since it is my dream, he is not wearing standard horseshoes. He is wearing special rubber sneakers that I designed.

Sometimes I’ll go to bed hoping to have an exotic dream. I’ll be in Tahiti or Hawaii with the photographer who shoots the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition. I have been invited along to help pose the models.

I have a few mildly quirky health regimens. I take Melatonin every night, not as a sleeping aid, but for its anti-aging properties. I take Saw Palmetto daily for good prostate health. Recently, I started taking Boswellia Serrata Extract for its anti-arthritis benefits. I threw away my sunglasses after reading the book “Health & Light” by John Ott. I have special full spectrum lightbulbs throughout my apartment. So, occasionally, I hope to dream that I am in Sweden accepting the Nobel Prize for discovering some unusual medical breakthrough that leads to an extremely long healthy life.

Those are the kinds of dreams I hope to have. Those are not the kind of dream I have. My dreams suck. I don’t understand it. I am retired, and I live by myself, so I do whatever I want to do, whenever I want to do it. I eat and drink whatever I want. I go to the park, the ballfield, roller derby games, and sports bars whenever I want. I don’t have to get up in the morning, so I stay up late at night watching harness races and my favorite DVD movies. I am “living the dream.” No, I am doing much better than that, because my dreams suck.

So recently I heard about something called Lucid Dreaming. It is the ability to manipulate your dreams. Naturally, since that sounds a little oddball, I was very interested in it. The first thing you have to do is recognize when you are dreaming. Often, as crazy as they might be, our dreams seem real to us and we don’t realize that we are only dreaming until we wake up. So, you keep a log book of your dreams and look for things that will help you know when you are indeed dreaming. I don’t need a log book. I know what my typical dreams are like. I’m lost. I’m late, and I’m frantically, but unsuccessfully, trying to get somewhere. Quite often I am running, since I can never find public transportation. Sometimes I am at work, or else I am trying to get to work or an appointment.

Those are all great indicators that I am dreaming. In the real world, I usually go to the same places, so I am never lost. I’m retired, so I don’t usually have to be anywhere at any specific time. So, I’m rarely late for an appointment, and I’m never late for any job, because I don’t have one. Also, in the real world, I never ever run.

So, I know what signs to look for to know when I am dreaming. Once you recognize that you are dreaming, you are supposed to nonchalantly tell yourself that you are dreaming. This is not easy. For weeks I would wake up every single time I told myself I was dreaming. I still do most of the time, but, every once in a great while, I am able to remain asleep and in the dream. Then you just try to make subtle improvements. If I’m lost I might try flying upward to see where I am. If I am late I might try stopping the clock. It’s a dream. I can do things that are impossible in the real world. Subtle changes keep me in the dream. Trying to make big changes often wakes me up.

The other night I was having my usual dream. I was lost. I was late for work, and I was running around getting nowhere. I knew I was dreaming, but I didn’t awaken. Then a very young girl appeared in the dream and said she would help me find my way. I thanked her, but I wished she was older. Suddenly she morphed into a beautiful woman. Now, we’re getting somewhere, I thought. I’m getting the hang of this. I smiled at my successful modification of a dream but, unfortunately, I woke up.

It wasn’t much, but it was a start and a big improvement over my usual sucky dreams. I just need more practice in Lucid Dreaming, and that beach in Tahiti with all the swimsuit models, the Academy Award, the Hambletonian trophy, and the Nobel prize might someday become dreams come true.

Sweet dreams, everyone.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl