Donald Trump wants to be sure that this time around, his closest advisors will be people who will always agree with him, kiss his ring, and “kiss the other ring, too.” So, he is handpicking his cabinet and high-level advisors very carefully. If you are thinking about applying for a job in this administration, be advised to wear your MAGA hat to the job interview.
He already has his Vice-President, J.D. Vance.
Trump is very much aware that a third assassination attempt might be planned. The Secret Service and bullet-proof glass will protect him from snipers. However, he is worried about being poisoned. So, J.D. Vance’s only duty will be to act as Donald’s official food taster. In between meals, J.D. will have full access to every room in the White House, except that he will not be allowed on the couches.
His Chief of Staff will be Susie Wilese.
If Trump actually has to run for a third term, just in case he’s not already Dictator-for-Life by then, Trump wants his 2024 Campaign Manager, Susie “The Ice Maiden” Wilese to be ready to hit the ground running.
The Deputy Chief of Staff will be the chrome-domed Stephen Miller.
He would implement the administration’s immigration agenda, by deporting African Americans and anyone with long hair.
The White House Counsel will be Bill McGinley. Normally this would have been the toughest job in the Trump White House, as he would be in charge of all of Trump’s current and previous lawyers. Now, though, thanks to Presidential Immunity, his only job will be to caddy for the President when he goes golfing.
The Central Intelligence Agency Director will be John Ratcliffe.
Trump can’t be bothered to read Intelligence Reports, so Ratcliffe’s job will be to get the most recently gathered Intelligence aired on Fox News, where the President will be sure to see it.
The Secretary of State will be Marco Rubio.
Little Marco has joked in the past that President Trump has small hands, and might also have “small crowd sizes.” So, he will be sent on missions all over the world, never to return to the United States.
The National Security Adviser will be Mike Waltz.
His job will be to get the Chinese to dismantle their Great Wall and send it to our southern border, where we will get Mexicans to reconstruct it brick by brick on their way out of the country. (If Arizona can have the London Bridge, then surely the U.S. can have the Great Wall of China on our Southern Border.
The “Border czar” will be Tom Homan.
He will be in charge of deporting Latinos and agricultural farm workers, because as President Trump says, “Real Americans don’t eat salad. We eat hamburgers.”
The U.S. ambassador to Israel will be Mike Huckabee’
Oy vay! What can I say?
The EPA Administrator will be Former Rep. Lee Zeldin.
To head the soon-to-be-eliminated Environmental Protection Agency, Trump picked a former New York Congressman whose only job will be to deregulate everything and then turn out the lights when the party is over.
The Head of Homeland Security will be Kristi Noem. We all remember her from the time she shot her dog and goat. “She will make sure that immigrants don’t eat our pets by shooting them first.” (It is still unclear whether this means that she will be shooting the immigrants, or the pets, or both. We are awaiting clarification.)
Will there be any jobs for Liberals and people who voted for Harris? You ask. Of course, there will be. The Deportation holding areas will need tens of thousands of “sanitation engineers.”
Peace & Love, and all of the above,
Earl
earlthepearl137 