My Bags are Packed. I’m ready to Go

If he is elected President, Donald J. Trump promised to deport people who disagree with him a.k.a. “the enemy within.”  I’m sure that can’t mean all 80 million people who will be voting for Kamala Harris, but it must include the people who openly mocked him on TV, radio, websites, and social media. That would include most of my favorite late-night comedians, especially Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers, and Jimmy Fallon. Colin Jost and Michael Che would have to be included, too.  The list is too long to mention, but just about every comedian, with the possible exception of Dennis Miller, would probably be sent to a gulag, while they awaited deportation to someplace else in the world. Tony Hinchcliffe, a.k.a. Kill Tony, the comedian at Trump’s Madison Square Garden rally might be spared, too.

Rachel Maddow, Chris Hayes, Lawrence O’Donnell, Alex Wagner, Ari Melber, Joy Reid, Stephanie Ruhle, Al Sharpton, Ayman Mohyeldin, Jonathan Lemire, and just about everybody else at MSNBC would probably be on the list, too.  I’m sure that plenty of people at CNN, CBS, NBC, and ABC would be deported, too, especially anyone who was a moderator in any of the debates, such as Jake Tapper and Dana Bash, David Muir and Linsey Davis, Norah O’Donnell and Margaret Brennan.  Of course, anyone who works as a fact-checker would go to the head of the list.

Those of us who have mocked Trump on websites and social media, but are lesser known, might have trouble getting seats on the deportation boats.  Complete unknowns like myself, might not even get steerage tickets on the early boats.  If Donald Trump is elected, I would much prefer being deported than remaining in a comedian-deprived country where the majority of its citizens would voluntarily elect a twice impeached, convicted felon and sexual predator, who not only tried to rig a Presidential election, but who, when that didn’t work, led a failed coup attempt to overthrow the government.  So, I want to plead my case for a seat on the deportation boats by offering just some of the anti-Trump cartoons I’ve circulated in recent months.

At a rally, Tucker Carlson creepily  compared Donald Trump to a stern father who would instill good behavior in his “bad girl” daughter by vigorously spanking her.  Instead of being disgusted by this image, the MAGA morons in the audience welcomed Trump to the stage with chants of “Daddy Don.”

By calling Donald Trump, Grandpa Poopie Pants, I was, of course, referring to the time the Donald shit his pants on the golf course.

I have also made fun of him for being the stooge for various dictators around the world.

At his rallies, when he’s not droning on about windmills killing whales, birds, and everything else, he drones on about sharks attacking electric boats.  Now, he’s come up with a new story about how Arnold Palmer was well hung.  So, I countered:

Political cartoonists were soon joining in.

I made fun of his McDonald’s photo op:

The “Stable genius” obviously didn’t know that Hitler’s generals tried to assassinate him.

His court cases and guilty verdicts on 34 felony charges were also worth poking fun at.

He said that nobody leaves his rallies early and proved it by stranding his cult members in the desert.

Hundreds of Trump supporters also found themselves stranded, but this time in prison, after they gleefully accepted Trump’s advocation to storm the Capital and fight like hell.

FILE PHOTO: Tear gas is released into a crowd of protesters, with one wielding a Confederate battle flag that reads “Come and Take It,” during clashes with Capitol police at a rally to contest the certification of the 2020 U.S. presidential election results by the U.S. Congress, at the U.S. Capitol Building in Washington, U.S, January 6, 2021. REUTERS/Shannon Stapleton/File Photo

Trump’s teachers were not very impressed by his intellect.

Neither was Nancy Pelosi.

We all know that he has tacky taste.

But decorating his guest bathroom with stolen classified documents was too much.

So, Ol’ Bone Spurs wants to be the Commander-in-chief of the U.S. Armed forces again.

But hundreds of people who worked in his administration have spoken out against him ever being anywhere near the Oval Office again.  I know that his former V.P. Mike Pence won’t be voting for him.

The only thing he is good at is branding.  He managed to squeeze a fortune out of his cult followers with Mug shot merchandise.

But now it’s time to see which way the wind blows on Election Day.

Will I wind up being deported, or will he wind up going to jail?

Peace and Love, and all of the above,

Earl

No Tax on Tips – Misdirection Part II

In my last article, I wrote about how Donald Trump is promising “No taxes on tips” as a means to gain votes and ultimately as an excuse to fire the new IRS auditors who were hired to investigate multi-millionaires and large corporations.

That’s just one of the reasons billionaires like Peter Thiel and Elon Musk are campaigning for Donald Trump and J.D. Vance. Peter Thiel is also in favor of tearing up the Constitution, which Donald Trump is in favor of doing. So, a Trump victory would be a double victory for him. Musk already is one of the richest people in the world, but he also stands to increase his wealth by getting government contracts. So his giving away $1,000,000 a day to people who sign his petition and support Trump is just a misdirection to hide the many billions of dollars he expects Trump to bestow upon him through Government contracts.

I said before that Donald Trump doesn’t care about tip employees.  He’s only working on a plan to make the rich richer.  I did a little more research and found that it’s even worse than I thought.  In 2017, while he was President, the Trump administration proposed a rule that would allow employers to legally take workers’ tips if those workers earned at least minimum wage.

The Economic Policy Institute (EPI) reported in 2017 that, if Trump’s proposal became law, Employers would pocket $5.8 billion in tips annually.  The rule would affect not just restaurant workers but all tipped workers (nail salon workers, casino dealers, barbers, etc.) So, under Trump, tipped workers would actually lose $5.8 billion in tips annually. That number could actually be much higher as tips are often under-reported.

Trump wants tipped employees to think he is putting money in their pockets, while, in reality, he would be picking their pockets. He disguises it to look like he cares for others. He really doesn’t.

Don’t let Donald Trump pick your pocket. Make the rich pay their fair share of taxes.

Vote Harris/Walz this November.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

The Magic of Misdirection

There’s an old joke that goes like this:

Juan comes up to the U.S./Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two very large bags over his shoulders. The American guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?”

“Just sand,” answered Juan.

The guard says, “We’ll just see about that. Get off the bike.” The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A day later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, “What have you got?”

“More sand,” says Juan.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years. Finally, one day, Juan doesn’t show up.  It also happens, that this day turns out to be the guard’s last day of work before he retires.  He is frustrated that he never solved this case, and he just has to know what Juan’s been doing all these years, so, after work, he goes to a few bars in Mexico until he finally finds Juan.

“Hey, Buddy,” says the guard, “I retired today, so I won’t do anything to you, but I just know you were smuggling something these last three years. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I can think about….. I can’t sleep, and I’d like to retire with some peace of mind. Just between you and me, please tell me what you were smuggling.”

Juan took a sip of his beer and casually said, “Bicycles.”

The sandbags in the joke were used for misdirection.  It wasn’t so much smuggling that Juan was doing.  It was magic through misdirection.

Recently, Donald Trump has been running a lot of ads where he pronounces that if he becomes President again, he will eliminate all taxes on tips.  This is good news for waiters, waitresses, barmen, barmaid, bellhops, cabbies, and everyone else who works for low wages and depends upon tips.  I had to ask myself, though, “Why is Trump making so much of this?”  He’s a man who only thinks of himself.  So, what’s in it for him?  I saw the trick, but what was the magic involved?  Where was the misdirection, and, especially, where was his trademark fear?

Trump focuses his campaign on fear.  He says that if Harris wins, there will be World War III, there will be a 1929-style depression, and illegal immigrants will kill you and your family, eat your dog, and take your home and your jobs.  He said the same things would happen if Biden was elected in 2020.  He plays on fear, and fear of non-white immigrants is his specialty.  He got elected in 2016, by promising to build a wall across the entire southern border.  It worked then.  It got him elected, and, since he never actually built the wall, he is still able to campaign on the same issue.  He will say or do anything to make his base fear immigrants.  “They’re eating your pets,” he tells them, and he, and only he, can and will be their protector. 

Where was the “fear factor” in declaring that he will stop taxing tips, though?  It was actually such a popular “concept” that Kamala Harris quickly supported the idea herself, and said her Administration would not tax tips, either.

So, let me play Penn & Teller, who had a television program where they showed you how magic tricks were performed, and I’ll explain the magic trick.

In 2022, Vice President Kamala Harris cast the tiebreaking vote in the Senate to pass a bill that, in part, gave money to the Internal Revenue Service.

Speaking in Las Vegas, Trump told his followers: “Kamala cast the tiebreaking vote to hire 87,000 new I.R.S. agents to go after your tip income.”  Two days later, Trump ran an ad that said, “Harris and Biden have literally unleashed the I.R.S. to harass workers who receive tips.”

Frequently during his rallies, especially when talking about one of his court cases, he tells the audience, “They are coming for YOU, but I am in their way.”  He, and only he, can and will be the great protector for his followers against the evil “Them.”  There’s the fear factor.  He told the multitude of people in Las Vegas, who work for tips, that Kamala Harris cast the deciding vote to bolster the I.R.S. and now the I.R.S. is coming after all those workers who haven’t been declaring all their tips for tax purposes.  He is the only one standing up for his followers against “Them.”  Kamala even wants to increase the number of I.R.S. agents.  If Trump wins the election, he promises to drastically reduce the number of I.R.S. agents.

Ah, there’s the rub. That’s the misdirection.

In 2023, the I.R.S. did use money from the Inflation Reduction Act to pay for 13,661 positions, including 495 for enforcement.  From 2024 to 2030, the agency expects to hire about 32,500 more for enforcement.

That seems to prove Trump’s point.  Magically prove it.  But here’s the tricky part.

The I.R.S. has been focusing on enforcement against large corporations and wealthy taxpayers.  Since the law passed in 2022, the I.R.S. has collected more than $1 billion from high-wealth taxpayers.  They are not targeting the chump change in your tip jar.  They are going after the big bucks, the ultra-rich corporations and the people who refuse to pay their fair share of taxes.  They are not coming after you.  They ARE coming after Donald Trump, Elon Musk, Peter Thiel, the chief contributor to J.D. Vance, Rupert Murdock, and the Fortune 500 companies which pay lower income tax rates than the average high-school teacher.

Donald Trump is not your protector.  He is certainly not standing between your tip jar and the I.R.S.  He is trying to get you to protect him.  Vote for him and he will fire half the I.R.S. agents on Day One.  He’ll be glad to do it.  The only thing that will make him happier on Day One is pardoning himself for any and all the crimes he’s committed.

According to the U.S. Constitution, billionaires like Pay Pal founders Elon Musk, Peter Thiel, and Rupert Murdoch can’t become President, because they were not born in the United States.  Musk was born in South Africa. Thiel was born in Germany, and Murdoch was born in Australia.  They can, however, use their vast media enterprises, social networks, and resources to try to buy the election for a not-so-smart aging white guy who can easily be flattered into tearing up that Constitution and happily cutting taxes for the rich and the restless once again.

We, the People of the United States, need to protect our Constitution and our country.  We need to keep Donald Trump and his ilk as far away from the Oval Office as possible.  We need to elect Harris/Walz in November.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

My Take on the Harris-Trump Debate

At the very beginning of the Debate Kamala Harris walked all the way across the stage to shake hands with Donald Trump. He went straight to his podium, but she went in for the handshake, like it was the beginning of a Heavyweight Fight. I think she just wanted to see if his tiny little hands were sweating. If they weren’t sweating then, they sure were over the course of the next 90 minutes as Kamala landed punch after punch, bringing up all the crimes for which he has been indicted or convicted, going all the way back to discrimination in housing when he worked with his father.

Trump told the viewers that he was proud when Viktor Orban told him that other world leaders feared him.  I hate to tell you this, Donald, but you lost the 2020 Presidential election because 80 million Americans were also afraid of you.  We were deeply worried that a madman, who would do anything to line his pockets and remain in power, had access to our nuclear codes.  The whole world was afraid of Donald Trump, and Donald Trump still doesn’t realize that this wasn’t a good thing.  It was a horrible thing.  The world gasped a big sigh of relief when Joe Biden won the Presidency, but they held their breath on January 6th, when Trump tried to use a mob to reverse the results of that election.

Kamala Harris revealed her plan for America, and Donald Trump revealed that he doesn’t have a plan.  His cronies have a plan, it’s called Project 2025, but he denied ever reading it.  That part might be the only honest thing he said all night.  Donald Trump probably didn’t even read the books he is supposed to have written, so I’d have no problem believing that he never read the 900-plus-page report. The ideas contained in Project 2025 were certainly written with him in mind, though.  It also came out that even though Trump tried to kill Obamacare 60 times, he never had a health plan to replace it,  At the debate, Trump finally revealed that nine years later, he still doesn’t have a health plan.  He still only has a “concept of a plan.”

What is his plan for anything?  Probably to put his son-in-law Jared in charge of fixing it, while Trump plays another round of golf. Don’t let that happen. Vote for the Harris/Walz team in November.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

Too Soon?

In his Christian New Testament Epistle to the Galatians, Paul the Apostle wrote: “whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” The Bible also says, “For they sow the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind.”  I’m sure that Donald Trump, the conman Bible salesman is familiar with these quotes, even if he never read them.

Donald Trump has been sowing the seeds of hatred for years, and yesterday there was an alleged assassination attempt against him at a rally in Butler, PA.  News sources reported that the shooter, 20-year-old registered Republican Thomas Matthew Crooks was shot dead by snipers at the scene.

If a Democrat had been shot, Donald Trump and his low-life friends like Steve Bannon would probably call it a False Flag operation.  If a Democrat had been shot, they would have said that Antifa did it, or maybe it was just tourists out for a stroll.

Trump led a bloody insurrection against the country on January 6, 2021, and he promised this country a “bloodbath” if he was not elected in 2024.  Kevin Roberts, the President of the Heritage Foundation, is behind Project 2025, the right-wing’s plan to take over the country.  He threatened the left recently stating, “We are in the process of the second American Revolution, which will remain bloodless if the left allows it to be.”  These guys have been threatening the country with bloodshed for years.  Trump wanted to execute people like Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Mark Milley, for disagreeing with him.  Not happy with just macing peaceful protesters for a photo op with the Bible, he wants to be able to shoot them on sight, something that the First Amendment strongly disallows.  So, he wants to scrap the Constitution, jail his political rivals, and send tens of thousands of Americans into detention camps.  He wants to be a dictator on day one if he gets re-elected.

Unlike draft dodging Trump, there were no bone spurs for this guy, General Millie.

Now the Republicans are shocked that they are reaping the whirlwind, and are shedding a little of their own blood.  Trump is lucky that the bullet only nicked his ear.  If the bullet had been 3 feet lower, it would have gone through his brain.

Republicans and Democrats quickly joined in a rare bi-partisan show of support today.  A poll of politicians would find that 100% of them are opposed to violence against politicians.  Mass shootings in schools, okay.  Violence on the street, okay, but when a citizen attacks a politician, they lose their minds.  They’re always quick to quote the Second Amendment when they fill their pockets with money from the gun lobby, but they forget that the founding fathers encouraged citizens to fight against tyrants.  Thomas Jefferson said that the strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms, is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.  “When governments fear the people, there is liberty.  When the people fear the government, there is tyranny.  Donald Trump wants to be a tyrant.

The Republicans haven’t shown any intention of supporting stronger gun control laws in the wake of this tragedy.  I’m waiting for one of them to declare, “If Trump was armed, he could have shot back.”  Who’s going to tell these a**holes that convicted felons aren’t allowed to carry guns, and Donald Trump has been indicted on 91 felony charges and already convicted of 34 of them.

I, personally, don’t believe that violence is the answer.  I hate Trump as much as anyone, but in this country we have laws against shooting people.  Of course, Donald Trump and the corrupt members of the Supreme Court he appointed believe that Donald Trump is above the law, but the rest of us are still subject to it.  So, I won’t take any violent action against him, but I will wear out my knees if I have to praying that someday soon, Donald Trump will choke to death on a Big Mac.

I refuse to shed crocodile tears for Donald Trump’s bloody ear.  I am truly sorry that innocent people were killed at the rally in Butler, though.  His cult followers may not be too bright, but stupid isn’t a crime.  They are perfectly allowed to support the candidate of their choice and shouldn’t have to worry about being shot for it.  The same goes for Biden supporters who shouldn’t have to be afraid that if they put a Biden sign on their lawn, a rock will come through their window and a family member might get hurt.

Since the shooter is dead, we may never know why Thomas Crooks climbed on that roof and took a shot at Donald Trump and his supporters.  Of course, the Republicans, Q Anon, and Fox News will blame Joe Biden, Barrack Obama, and Hillary Clinton.

If you watched a video of the assassination attempt, you will see that the first words out of Donald Trump’s mouth to his supporters were “Fight.  Fight.  Fight.”  It was just like that January day in 2021, when he told his supporters that if they wanted to hold onto their country they had to go to the Capital and “Fight like hell.”  Donald Trump understands that “Those who live by the sword, die by the sword.”  He just believes that he has enough followers who will “fall on their sword” to protect him.  Don’t allow him to milk this event to attract supporters.  He brought it on himself.  He inherited the Whirlwind, and he deserves to die, not at the hands of an assassin, though, but in a gallows, as the result of a guilty verdict in a court of law for the treason he committed on January 6, 2021.

Too soon?  …or not soon enough?

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

Buyer Beware

The other night, I was happily watching old clips of my favorite late-night hosts mocking Donald Trump’s legal problems.  This particular clip from 8 months ago was from a Seth Meyers segment called “A Closer Look,” and I did take a closer look – at one of Donald Trump’s Lawyers.  Alina Habba had appeared, up until this point, as a lawyer who Donald Trump hired just for her looks.  In this clip, however, I could see the legal wheels turning inside her head, as it dawned on her that her client was incriminating himself.

Trump was outside the courthouse explaining why he couldn’t possibly be guilty of defrauding anyone, because there is a disclaimer at the beginning of all his financial statements that basically says, do your own research, this report is “Worthless.”  Alina Habba, who had been standing dutifully in the background trying not to look bored, suddenly realized that her client was saying something he shouldn’t be saying.  She realized that he was verbally putting a noose around his own neck, and she wondered what she could do to stop him.

She looks over at the other attorneys, with a look that says, You’ve got to stop him, before he digs a hole so deep that we all fall into it.

She was probably thinking about all the lawyers whose careers were ruined because they got involved with Donald Trump.  Rudy Guiliani, who at one time was known as America’s mayor, served as Trump’s personal attorney and is now hawking organic coffee to try to stave off bankruptcy.  The number of lawyers Trump has thrown under the bus to save his own sorry ass is legion, and I’ll bet Alina was thinking that the name Alina Habba was about to be added to the long list of collateral damage that has resulted from an association with Donald Trump.

Trump rambled on and I guess Alina’s mind did, too, as she thought of the people on the list of disgraced Trump lawyers that she would soon be joining.  Kenneth Chesebro, James Troupis, and cute little Jenna Ellis, who we all remember pleading guilty to RICO charges in Georgia with tears pouring down her remorseful face.  Then, of course, there are John Eastman, Christina Bobb, Jeffrey Clark, and Sidney Powell.  Who could forget her?  She threatened to “release the Kraken.”  Instead, she opened up a can of whoop ass that she spilled all over herself.

Michael Cohen went to jail for Trump.  Nowadays, he’s a star witness against Trump.  There were more.  If Alina searched her memory for other lawyers who had been tossed overboard in the wake created by Donald J. Trump cruising through their lives.  In Georgia alone, there were Cleta Mitchell, Ray Smith, and Robert Cheeley.

Maybe she was also thinking about the Trump supporters who went to jail for the insurrection at the Capital on January 6th.  In his current campaign for the Presidency, he’s proclaiming that if elected he will issue pardons to them.  Funny how that thought never occurred to him in his last two weeks in office, when he actually had the power to issue pardons.  Maybe he was just too busy issuing pardons to some of his other criminal associates, like Paul Manafort, Roger Stone, Michael Flynn, Stephen K. Bannon, or George Papadopoulos.  He didn’t think about his “J-6 warriors” in jail, until he got the idea to use them in his run for re-election.

Alina wanted desperately to stop Trump’s rambling speech that day.  Look at that last picture.  She’s not looking at Trump.  She’s looking at her colleagues.  Her eyes were trying to send a message to the other attorneys, “Somebody, please, stop him.”

Of course, she wasn’t able to control him, and, of course, Trump lost another legal case.  Sure, he can get thousands of red hat cult members to attend his rallies, but he just can’t seem to find a single juror, who isn’t convinced beyond a reasonable doubt that he is guilty.  E. Jean Carroll beat him in court twice.  His corporation lost a big fraud case in court.  Then he lost almost a half billion dollars in his own personal fraud case.  He was recently found guilty of 34 felony charges and 10 acts of Contempt of Court.  He has a few more court cases coming up, which look like slam dunks for the Prosecution, which his appointees on the Supreme Court are trying to stall until after the election, so that he may be able to pardon himself.

What Alina’s eyes were saying that day outside the courtroom is exactly what I would like to say to all the people who will be voting in November, “Please, stop him.”  The best way to preserve our Democracy is to use the most powerful tool that Democracy has ever given us to do just that, the ballot box.  The barbarians aren’t at the gate anymore.  They crashed the gate long ago, and they’re gonna try to storm the Capital again.  Please, stop Donald Trump.  Use your vote against him and his ilk, and stop them all.  A grateful country will thank you by flying the flag right-side up.

If you care to judge for yourself what Alina Habba was thinking just watch this clip from A Closer Look  (to save time, you can just need to watch 50 seconds of the 30-minute clip from the 5:36 to the 6:26 mark):

Bing Videos

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

Ten Cent Jimmy

There was a clue on “Jeopardy!” today that needs some clarification.

The “answer” was “Who is James Buchanan?”

The nickname is correct, but the context is way wrong, as are many details about President Buchanan that have been widely disseminated.  Here is the full story as told in “President James Buchanan” a biography by Philip Shriver Klein:

Pages 133-134.

The program of attack on Van Buren presupposed attacks on all his lieutenants.  In Pennsylvania there was a very effective propaganda campaign to prove that Buchanan had urged a banking program that would reduce the wages of labor to ten cents a day.  “Ten Cent Jimmy,” the pamphlets were labelled.  Buchanan, in formal debate, always presented as strongly as he could the case of the opposition, and then proceeded to demolish it systematically by his own arguments.  In supporting the Independent Treasury Bill, he had outlined the terrible conditions which would prevail unless banks were reformed and had then gone on to show how much better all would fare under the proposed bill.  Senator John Davis of Massachusetts took the first section of this speech, and offered it as Buchanan’s reasons for supporting the Independent Treasury.  He took the “ten cents a day” phrase and quoted it out of context, asserting that Buchanan supported the Independent Treasury Bill in the hope that it would reduce wages, destroy banks and deflate property values.  Davis’s speeches, when circulated in print, had tremendous political impact.

Forney reported from Pennsylvania:  “I do not know when I have been so much disgusted with the course of any political opponent as with that of this Mr. Davis-…  He must be either a mere catspaw of others, or a weak, addle-brained man, or a malignant and unscrupulous ruffian…  When I see the effect they are making here, by means of his villainous perversion of your intelligible Defence (sic) of the laborer, I cannot but put such a construction upon his unworthy conduct.  Why, Sir, they have flooded this county with his so-called Reply to you….  A copy has been sent to nearly every Democrat….  His whole speech is the assumption of the broad ground that the people are ignorant, and unable to discriminate between right and wrong.”

The human mind has not yet discovered the way of counteracting promptly the effect of the bold lie propagated by the prominent man.  History is full of pertinent illustrations.  If representative government has a nemesis, this is probably it.  The “Ten Cent Jimmy” lie seriously weakened Buchanan in Pennsylvania.

Forney proposed that the Democrats “challenge any responsible member of the opposition here to join in the republication of both yours and Davis’ speeches, both of which are to be published correctly and … bound together, and so circulated… If they do not accept, they are down forever.”  The opposition did not accept, nor was it down forever.  Instead, it proceeded to improve its advantage by reviving the “drop of blood” smear and sending that out with the “Ten Cent Jimmy” pamphlets.  Editor Middleton, of the Lancaster Examiner, did much of the printing.  He had recently distinguished himself by shooting James Cameron when Cameron came in to beat him up for other lies he had published.  Buchanan was for “carrying the war into Carthage,” but his friends advised against it.  “It’s only giving tone to falsehoods by heeding them,” wrote Judge Champneys.

Buchanan made several long defensive speeches in the Senate on the “Ten Cent Jimmy” accusations.  “If the most artful and unfair man in the world had determined to destroy any public measure,” he asked, “in what manner would he most effectually damn it in public estimation?  It would be to enumerate all the terrible consequences which would flow from it, according to the predictions of its enemies, and put them into the mouth of its friends as arguments in its favor.  There could not by possibility be any stronger admission of its evil tendency….  This is the ridiculous attitude in which I am placed by the Senator’s speech.  If these imputations were well founded, I must be one of the most ferocious men in existence.  Destruction must be my delight. No wild agrarian in the country has ever thought of waging such an indiscriminate war against all property, my own among the rest, as that which has been attributed to me by the Senator.”  But Buchanan’s exposure of Davis’s fraud proved a futile effort.  People found it easier to say “Ten Cent Jimmy” than to read a rebuttal, and the nickname stuck.

Today, we have another Presidential candidate, who delights in bold lies and giving horrible nicknames to his opponents.  Nancy Pelosi was called “Crazy Nancy” and “Nervous Nancy.”  Hillary Clinton was called “Crooked Hillary.”  Even fellow Republicans were verbally attacked if they dared to run against Donald Trump in the primaries.  Jeb Bush was “Low Energy Jeb.”  Ted Cruz was “Lyin’ Ted.”  Well, that one was probably well-deserved, though.  Ron DeSantis was “Meatball Ron” or “Ron DeSanctimonious.”  Nikki Haley was “Birdbrain.”  Marco Rubio was “Little Marco.”

Now, Trump has turned his sights on Joe Biden with nicknames like “Basement Biden” or “Sleepy Joe.”  But some people have turned the tables on the orange hate-spewer.  Stormy “Horseface” Daniels was one of the star witnesses against him in the case that found him guilty of 34 Felonies.  The other star witness against him, Michael Cohen also turned the tables with a nickname of his own for Trump, “Donald Von ShitsinPantz.”

How are we supposed to act when our opponents are cruel or act like a bully?  Michelle Obama said, “When someone is cruel or acts like a bully, you don’t stoop to their level.  No, our motto is ‘When they go low, we go high.’”

James Buchanan, himself, had advice for settling differences, when he said, “The ballot box is the surest arbiter of disputes among free men.”  Keep that in mind this November, and make sure that Donald Trump will no longer be able to bully the country like he tried to do on January 6th, 2021.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

The Miserable

Victor Hugo died in 1885, so I don’t think he’ll mind too much if I have a little fun with his great story Les Miserables.  My version is pretty close to the original, except that Donald J. (Jean Valjean) Trump is the bad guy.

The Miserable

Our story opens on Donald Jean Valjean Trump, a wealthy real estate mogul who is convicted of 34 counts of fraud, and is sentenced to spend just one day in prison.  “I hope that just one day in prison,” says Judge Merchan, “will be enough for you to see the error of your ways, and turn your life around.”

Outside the courtroom after the trial, Valjean constantly complains that he’s innocent.  He didn’t commit any fraud.  All he was trying to do was to give a little bread to a poor starving porn star named Fantine, and her poor starving daughter, Cosette, who reminds him of his own daughter, who he has always wanted to bang.  With the help of cult members, Valjean escapes the court house, but the court deputy Alvin Bragg vows that he will someday recapture him.

Valjean gets a job as a banquet waiter at a fancy hotel in Florida and steals all the silverware.  Using the money he got for the silverware and the pseudonym Jean Barron, he goes on to hawk every snake-oil product he can find – Barron Wine, Barron Bibles, Barron Sneakers, Barron Cologne, Barron Steaks, a Barron University Doctor of B.S Degree, and red Barron University Base Ball Association caps, (with BUBBA embroidered on them).  He becomes very wealthy.  So wealthy, in fact, that he runs for President of the United States, and with the help of 10,000 stand-up comedians and one Russian Dictator, he actually becomes the President.

His term as President is, quite frankly, Miserable.  His first decision, to give the ultra-rich a tax cut, is a disaster for the economy and the National Debt Grows.  Then, a worldwide epidemic wipes out over a million Americans.  On top of all that Inspector Mueller in the Justice Department recognizes him from his past and starts investigating all his shady business deals.  Valjean winds up being impeached, but he convinces the Senate to look for evidence of his innocence on Hillary Clinton’s laptop computer.  They can’t find the laptop, so they acquit him.  However, the American public is slowly turning their back on him and they vote him out of office.  But he likes being in office.  He can play golf everyday, while a group of Secret Servicemen make sure that none of the many people he’s screwed in his life can get near enough to kill him.  So, he reveals his true identity as D VJ Trump and asks for his old cult followers to storm the Capital and change the election results to make him the winner.  The coupe fails, and he is once again impeached.  His unpaid lawyers tell the Senate that he was only trying to bolster tourism in Washington, D.C.  The Senators don’t believe this, but they acquit him anyway since he was now living in Florida with Rudy Giuliani, and they figured that was enough punishment for anyone.

Over the years, Cossette married Jared, and Trump realized that he would never be able to bang Cossette while Jared was around, so the only thing he can do to feed his ever-expanding narcissistic appetite is to run for President again.

Then Alvin Bragg shows up to arrest him, but Trump gets a Saudi Arabian Prince and an unnamed Russian to put up a bazillion dollar bond to keep him out of jail pending appeal.

Finally, there is fighting on the street between regular citizens and Trump loyalists.  Trump rushes out to encourage his cult members, but he is tackled by his former lawyer, Michael Cohen, and an angry group of unpaid lawyers, who beat the shit out of Trump, and then beat the shit out of his shitty diapers.  Alvin Bragg stops the fight and Arrests Valjean.

Alvin Bragg is sitting in a chair next to a bed where Trump is handcuffed. It is his deathbed, and he still denies ever doing anything wrong.  He calls his wife Melania to join him at the hour of his death, but she is visiting her lawyer to make sure that her share of the will is insured.  So, Trump asks for his daughter to join him, but she’s avoided his lecherous advances all her life and won’t let him score in the end.  She tells him that she has children of her own and must go to a PTA meeting.  Then his son Eric shows up, and Trump says, “Who are you?” and dies and farts loudly.

The End.

I know.  It needs work, but at least it has a happy ending.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

Thirty-Four Counts

In honor of the Springsteen – Trump Feud of 2024 – “The War at the Shore”

34 Counts.

[Intro]
(Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
(Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
 (Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
 (Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
 
[Verse 1]
Thirty-Four Counts and we’ll take that ride
Across the Hudson River to the other side
Thirty-Four Counts cut through all of these nights
They’re kneeling on him in the Court House
Like a porn queen in the lights.

[Chorus]
Is it the truth? Is it a lie?
Should we believe Cohen? Or some other guy?
It ain’t no secret (It ain’t no secret)
It ain’t no secret (It ain’t no secret)
No secret, my friend
You can’t flaunt the law for decades in your Orangutan skin

[Post-Chorus]
(Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
(Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
 (Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
 (Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty

[Verse 2]
Thirty-Four Counts, Melania isn’t anywhere to balk
She said, “What the hell, it’s only locker room talk.”
He doesn’t understand any of the rules
He thinks he’s above us and we’re all his tools.
I had his baby.  Could you ask for anything more?
No, he needed porn stars and screaming out “fore”

[Chorus]
Is it the truth? Is it a lie?
Should we believe Cohen? Or some other guy?
It ain’t no secret (It ain’t no secret)
It ain’t no secret (It ain’t no secret)
No secret, my friend
You can’t flaunt the law for decades in your Orangutan skin

[Chorus]
Is it the truth? Is it a lie?
Should we believe Cohen? Or some other guy?
It ain’t no secret (It ain’t no secret)
It ain’t no secret (It ain’t no secret)
No secret, my friend
You can’t flaunt the law for decades in your Orangutan skin

(Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
(Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
 (Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
 (Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty

[Guitar Solo]

[Chorus]
Is it the truth? Is it a lie?
Should we believe Cohen? Or some other guy?
It ain’t no secret (It ain’t no secret)
It ain’t no secret (It ain’t no secret)
No secret, my friend
You can’t flaunt the law for decades in your Orangutan skin

[Verse 3]
Thirty-Four Counts and we’ll take that ride
Across this Hudson River to the other side
Thirty-Four Counts I got my boots caked in this mud
We’re baptized in this court room.  It’s here we’ll stand or fall
With liberty and justice finally fair to one and all.
[Chorus]
Is it the truth? Is it a lie?
Should we believe Cohen? Or some other guy?
It ain’t no secret (It ain’t no secret)
It ain’t no secret (It ain’t no secret)
No secret, my friend
You can’t flaunt the law for decades in your Orangutan skin

[Outro]
(Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
(Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
 (Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
 (Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty

(Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
(Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
 (Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
(Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
(Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
 (Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
(Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
(Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
 (Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
(Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
(Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
 (Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
(Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty
(Thirty-Four Counts) – Guilty

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

December 15th

In my last rant, I mentioned a few dates that will live in infamy.  Today, I want to talk about another day that we don’t hardly remember, but it should be a National Holiday, December 15, 1791.  The “Founding Fathers” signed The Constitution of the United States on September 17, 1987.  Almost immediately, 12 Amendments to their original Constitution were proposed.  These matters were so important to the brand-new citizens of the United States of America, that the necessary mandate of 3/4ths of the States quickly voted to accept 10 of those Amendments.  Those 10 Amendments became known as the Bill of Rights and took effect on December 15, 1791. 

As of that day, the Constitution guaranteed the American people freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of the press, the right to peacefully assemble, the right to petition the government, the right to keep and bear arms, and the protection from quartering troops in private homes without consent.  We also were guaranteed protection from unreasonable searches and seizures, protection against self-incrimination, and the right to due process of law, and all those rights were given in just the first 5 amendments.  The other 5 Amendments in the Bill of Rights guaranteed Americans the right to a fair trial and protection from cruel and unusual punishment, among other things.

Recently, the Constitution in General and the first two Amendments specifically have been the subject of much debate.  Language has evolved over the past 232 years, and interpreting both the intent of the Founding Fathers, and the spirit of the Amendments has now become a political football.  What is and what isn’t protected by free speech?  Does freedom of religion include freedom from religion?  Does “Fake News” have the same freedom as real news, and what is real and what is fake?  Can every citizen own a basement full of assault weapons?

Now, thanks to the State of Colorado, another Amendment has jumped into the spotlight, the 14th Amendment, an old Civil-War era Amendment written with the intent on keeping Confederates, a.k.a. insurrectionists, out of office in the United States.  It is just one small section of the 14th Amendment that has caused all this fuss.  It is known as Section 3 – Disqualification from Public Office.  It states:

“No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any state, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any state legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any state, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof.”

Using this Amendment, the State of Colorado has stricken Donald Trump’s name from the primary election ballot there.  Did Donald Trump engage in insurrection or rebellion against the Constitution of the United States?  That’s something for a court to decide.  Did Donald Trump give “aid or comfort to the enemies thereof”?  Well, he promised to pardon all those convicted of insurrection and other charges resulting from their activities in the Capital on January 6,  2021.  I’d say that offering pardons to convicted insurrectionists most definitely qualifies as giving aid or comfort to the enemies of the Constitution.   Basically, he said, “Vote for me, and I’ll set you free.”  Now, where have I heard that before?  Oh yeah, it was in a song by the Temptations called Ball of Confusion.

Now, some Trump supporters think that we shouldn’t use an old Amendment against their “Orange Jesus.”  They claim that the 14th Amendment is out of date because it was ratified way back in 1868.  Well, despite being old, it’s still the law of the land, and, for that matter, the Amendment that permits Trump supporters and everyone else to voice their dissenting opinion dates back even earlier to 1791.  Their 2nd Amendment right to bear arms is also 77 years older than the 14th Amendment, as it dates back to 1791, also. If you want to talk about updating and rewriting old Constitutional Amendments, I think that the weekly mass murders committed in The United States dictate that the language and intent of the 2nd Amendment should be resolved first.

Thanks for listening to my rant.  I’ll repay your time by including a link to a video of Ball of Confusion that shows all the lyrics. I went on YouTube to listen to it and played it over and over.  The song came out in 1970, but I was totally amazed at how good it still was and how it easily brought back memories from more than 50 years ago.  I was also saddened, though, because, unfortunately, 53 years later, it is still an accurate description of the world of today, a ball of confusion.

(37) Ball of Confusion – Temptations (lyrics) HD – YouTube

So, despite all our progress, things haven’t changed all that much in 50 years.  The problems we had then are still with us today.

“…and the band plays on…”

One thing that is the same is that this world still needs a whole lot more Peace & Love.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl