Author: earlthepearl137

Today is Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day, December 7, 1941, a day that will live in infamy.

I watched a replay of the Republican Debate on YouTube last night.  Thankfully, I was able to play it at 1.5 speed, which saved me about 40 minutes.  As a Democrat, I don’t normally enjoy watching Republican Debates, but this one was different.  Instead of attacking Democrats, they were attacking each other.  They are all trailing Donald Trump in the polls by massive numbers, but instead of taking him on, they fought with each other.  They should have made Donald Trump regret skipping the debate by using the entire time just to bash him.  Chris Christie did use much of his allotted time to point this out, while he also mentioned that Donald Trump will probably be a convicted felon by Election Day.  He was heavily booed for his truthfulness by the Republicans in the audience.

Surprisingly, Ron DeSantis had, what I thought, was the best answer to the GOP Trump dilemma, though.  He said that Republicans should not just be thinking of the next election but the one after it, and that instead of pushing for Trump now, they should work to elect a President who could serve two terms.

I hope Joe Biden was watching.  It probably wouldn’t be a bad idea for the Democrats to also consider running someone who could serve two terms.  If Joe Biden drops out of the race, we might be able to elect someone who would occupy the oval office for the next 8 years, instead of having to renew the fight in 4 years with a new candidate.  This would be a great time for Joe to both “take one for the team” and retire with honor. He answered the call in 2020 when his country needed him, and now, like John F. Kennedy said, “It is time to pass the torch to a new generation of Americans.”

While most of the Republican debate time was spent yelling at one another, the moderators did occasionally bring up a few issues, one of which was the conflict between Israel and Hamas.  We learned days earlier that Israeli Intelligence was warned ahead of time that Hamas would strike Israel on October 7^th, Putin’s birthday.  The warning was ignored as being preposterous.  Reminds me of when our intelligence agencies were informed in 2001 that some Arabs were taking flying lessons, but were not interested in learning how to take off or land.  We did not act on the warnings and that led to September 11, 2001, another day that will live in Infamy.

When asked recently in a town hall interview with Sean Hannity if he intended to be a Dictator, Trump “joked” that he would only be a dictator “on day one.”  His words resonated with his GOP challengers.  I didn’t really get much more out of the debate, but I did hear those three little words, over and over again, and it frightened me.  The four hopefuls on stage didn’t go as far as Trump, but the GOP Presidential hopefuls all made bold statements on the sweeping changes to Democracy that they would make “On Day One” if they became President.

When I was a kid, the town siren went off at noon every day.  It was the same air-raid siren that they would use to make everyone aware of an enemy attack.  As kids, we always worried that our town, and plenty of other towns in America would be vulnerable if the Russians ever attacked us at noon.  I don’t hear the noon siren go off anymore, so that no longer worries me.  I am now afraid, instead, that our people, our country, and our Democracy will suffer a massive attack from within “on day one” if any of these GOP Presidential candidates captures The Whitehouse in 2024.  If that should happen, Tuesday, November 5^th, 2024, Election Day, should be added to America’s list of days that will live in infamy.  Please don’t ignore the warning signs this time and be sure to vote against those who are hell-bent to destroy Democracy.  The Country you save just might be your own.

Peace & Love, and all of the above.

Earl

Drawing by Eric Fischl

Why is Donald Trump involved in so many legal cases?  I grew up in New York, so I first heard the name Donald Trump a long time ago.  He was always in the newspaper where they always had a photo of him at a high-class club with a high-class model.  He, himself, though, wasn’t very high class.  He fancied himself as a rich tycoon playboy.  He also acted like he had the Midas touch, turning every business deal into a fortune all by himself.  As I grew up, I learned that much of his wealth was inherited from his father, and his business deals weren’t always successful.  Many of his companies were forced to declare bankruptcy.   Rumors also abounded that he had used discriminatory practices in his real estate business.  Nobody in authority went after him though, because people didn’t take him seriously.  He was just a clown who could always be found on Page Six of the Post.

He used his fame to increase the value of his real-estate holdings, merely by putting his name on the buildings.  Eventually, he spread into other areas – Trump steaks, Trump University, Trump Vodka, Trump Casinos, Trump Shuttle, and Trump Magazine.  His business ventures weren’t always profitable, but they all added to his name recognition, and that was enough to keep him in the limelight.  He wound up starring in his own reality TV show, The Apprentice.  His big catchphrase during the show’s long run was “You’re fired.”  People loved hearing him say that, and he had millions of adoring fans.  He then used his growing fame and name recognition to become the 45th President of the United States, and that’s where his storybook life started unraveling.  He had bitten off more than he could chew.  When one of his companies was in financial trouble, he could simply declare the company bankrupt.  You can’t do that with the National Debt, though.  You can’t make trillions of dollars in National Debt go away by declaring bankruptcy.  This was a financial problem he couldn’t solve in the courtroom.  Then, his problems became even worse.  Covid hit.

The top scientists in the world weren’t sure how to handle the epidemic.  Neither did he, but he assured everyone that it would all go away when the weather warmed up.  The weather did warm up, but so did Covid.  It killed more than a million Americans and cost him the election in 2020.  Then, he crossed the line.  He fired up his base and got them to believe that the election had been stolen.  He fanned the flames until a full-scale insurrection took place at the Capital Building, where his followers attacked Capital Police to try to prevent the counting of the electoral votes for Joe Biden.  He became the first President in U.S. history to fail to concede the election gracefully.  There were other contested elections in American history, and in 1876, the supporters of Samuel Tilden declared that he was robbed of the Presidency and demanded “Tilden or blood.”  Samuel Tilden put an end to that by conceding the election and telling his followers to accept Rutherford B. Hayes as the President.  Al Gore took his fight to the Supreme Court, which ended his non-violent protest by declaring George Bush the winner in Florida and the winner overall.  Al Gore then conceded the election and rode off into the political sunset.

Donald Trump didn’t concede.  He plotted to find a way to hold onto power.  January 6^th was his Rubicon, and he crossed it.  He still looked like a clown with his orange face and ridiculous comb-over, but he was now taken seriously.  He violated his oath to the Constitution and posed a clear and present danger to Democracy itself.  That opened the floodgates against him.  Prosecutors, who had in the past looked the other way, when his circus came to town, now knew that they finally had to take a stand.  When the U.S. Senate refused to find him guilty of acts for which the House of Representatives had impeached him, local prosecutors picked up the fallen torch and took up the challenge.  They ripped the band-aids off old wounds and dug up the graves where his violations had been buried for years.  They attacked him in New York, Florida, Georgia, and eventually in Washington, D.C.  For 76 years he had been the Teflon Don, but now he had gone too far.  He was no longer a mere con man fleecing suckers to build an empire.  He was now a crazed narcissist who was willing to tear down an entire country to establish his own empire in the ashes.

That’s when Americans went from laughing at Donald Trump to worrying if he would unleash his base to commit unspeakable atrocities to keep him in power or at least out of jail.  Nobody laughs when his circus comes to town anymore.  He is a wannabe dictator, who calls his political foes “vermin,” just like Hitler did in his rise to power.  It’s not a laughing matter anymore.  He must be stopped, but to keep Democracy alive, he has to be stopped legally.  He and his thugs have hinted at “2^nd Amendment solutions” for their own problems, but we have to take the higher ground to end his reign of terror.  Our weapons must be the courts and the ballot box.  So, we will have to endure months, and maybe even years of court cases before he is finally stopped, but he will be stopped, because he crossed the line, and the majority of Americans know it.  He will still have his neo-nazi cult members who follow his orders, but we’ve dealt with Nazis in the past, and we are plenty strong enough to trounce them again.  It’s time for the American people to let Donald Trump know that his days as ringleader are over, his circus is not wanted, and he’s fired.  He probably deserves an actual firing squad, but putting him in jail will have to suffice.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

My heart goes out to the Trump family.  Those poor people.  The subject of numerous Witch hunts, Indictments falling like autumn leaves around them, political opponents wanting to lock them up, former cronies plea bargaining to testify against them, and rude fat men in gaudy clothes trampling on their dear departed mother’s grave in golf spikes, screaming “Fore” instead of “Four more years.”  How much more does this family have to endure? 

Now the mean old New York Attorney General, Letitia James, wants to put Donald’s children on the stand to testify against him.  Donald Jr, the eldest at 540 months old, will be expected to know Generally Accepted Accounting Practices, a subject that was never brought up in the Trump household.  Cooking the Books was the job of incredibly well-paid fully trusted accountants, who didn’t realize that they were expendable and would be thrown under the bus at the first sign of trouble.  Ivanka, the baby of the group, at just 468 months old, is immune from prosecution due to the statute of limitations running out, but she will still have to somehow explain to her husband Jared that he is going to have to babysit their baby mama children while she goes to New York for the trial.  Eric, the 516-month middle child will be tested to see if he can walk and chew gum at the same time.  Otherwise, Judge Engoron may remove him to a foster home.

At the same time, Georgia District Attorney Fanni Willis wants to put The Bronze Bomber in jail for tinkering with the Presidential election there.  “Is it a crime to go looking for 11,780 votes in a closet somewhere in Georgia Secretary of State Raffensperger’s office?” said Trump.  “I’ve got way better stuff I keep in boxes in the bathroom at Mar a Lago.”  “I’m willing to trade nuclear secrets for 11,780 votes.  I asked Rudy Guiliani to help me on that one, but he had a melt down – literally.”

Then to make matters worse, poor Donald wound up with Jack Smith as a Special Prosecutor in his Insurrection trial.  This particular Mr. Smith didn’t leave his job prosecuting war criminals to go to Washington to just talk, talk, talk.  He’s not too fond of Trump talking either, and he keeps requesting gag orders against the Strawberry-blond bombshell.

Then Trump lost a rape case to Jean Carroll, and porn queen Stormy Daniels is defying a non-disclosure agreement to tell everyone that the Donald’s penis looks like a tiny little mushroom.    Now, political cartoonists draw his hands even smaller than they used to.  At least the Donald still has Melania right there at his side, just a few thousand miles away.  She says that she will stay loyal to her husband, because she doesn’t want to end up buried in a sand trap on a golf course like Ivana.

The Donald doesn’t have much going for him legally these days, but he is making a fortune on merchandise.  Red MAGA hats were his big sellers, but now Mug Shot Mania has taken over and Mug Shot shot glasses are lined up in right-wing bars across the Red States.  Unfortunately, the Conservative Evangelicals who support him are not allowed to be caught drinking in public, but they do have the collectors item glasses in their home bars hidden in the basement.

One glimmer of hope remains for our poor tortured hero.  The Republicans in the House of Representatives elected Mike Johnson as speaker.  He wants to replace the Constitution with the Bible, and there’s nothing in the Bible about punishing a man for just looking for 11,780 votes or cheating on his taxes, as long as he’s not a homosexual, a drag queen, or providing Johnson’s son Jack with porn.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

On July 21, 1861, in Manassas, Virginia, the first major land battle of the Civil War took place.  Northerners called it the Battle of Bull Run, whereas in the South it is known as the Battle of Manassas.  It ended in a Confederate victory when the Union forces were eventually forced to retreat.  The battle shattered any illusions that the Union had that the conflict would be a short and relatively bloodless affair.

On January 6, 2021, an army of Donald Trump supporters stormed the Capitol building and for a time overran it, hoping to prevent the confirmation of Joseph Biden as the winner of the Presidential election.  Eventually, Capital police quelled the riot and restored order so that the votes of the American people and the Electoral College could be confirmed.  Once again, Americans hoped that this first battle would end the conflict and that it would be a short and relatively bloodless affair.  Again, we were wrong.  While many in Donald Trump’s MAGA army did go to prison for their role in the conflict, their Cult Leader General remains at large and our uncivil war continues and threatens to get very bloody.

Earlier this month I wrote that one path the MAGA world had to continue their war on Democracy was to put a MAGA supporter two heartbeats away from the Presidency by electing one of their own as Speaker of the House.  They even considered naming Donald Trump as the Speaker, but the job remained vacant for three weeks until they were able to bully and physically threaten other Republicans and their families to unanimously name Mike Johnson the new Speaker.

Mike Johnson was one of the architects of the plan to stop the certification of the vote on January 6^th.  So, he is now 3^rd in line for the Presidency, with the Republicans determined to remove President Biden from office via impeachment.  Donald Trump is also pushing for the 80-year-old Biden to be removed from office for mental incapacity.  This would move Mike Johnson to within a heartbeat of the Presidency, and there are many MAGA thugs ready, willing, and evil enough to attempt to end that precious heartbeat.

Then should Mike Johnson become President, he can name Donald Trump as his Vice President, and then resign the Presidency.  Boom.  Dictator Trump will take over.

The mills of justice are grinding slowly against the twice impeached, often indicted, disgraced ex-president, but they need to speed up.  Donald Trump is a clear and present danger to our Democracy.  He is making a mockery of our justice system by threatening witnesses and even suggesting that some witnesses such as General Milley should be executed.  He has clearly violated his bail agreement and should be in jail, not given small fines that amount to pocket change for the presumed billionaire.

Our justice system is not just if anyone is above the law.  If the MAGA thugs are allowed to continue their reign of terror, we can be sure that they will eventually pass a law that Critical Coup Theory can never be taught in American schools.

For the sake of our country and our Democracy, lock him up.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

Kevin McCarthy fought furiously for the job of Speaker of the House.  Now Matt Gaetz is challenging him for that position.  Why?

I asked my new friend ChatGPT to provide me with a little background.

Where is the Speaker of the House in the Presidential Succession plan?

ChatGPT

The Speaker of the House of Representatives is fairly high in the presidential succession plan in the United States. The presidential succession plan is outlined in the Presidential Succession Act, which establishes the order of individuals who would assume the presidency if the President and Vice President are unable to serve. As of my last knowledge update in September 2021, here is the order of succession:

1. Vice President
2. Speaker of the House of Representatives
3. President pro tempore of the Senate
4. Secretary of State
5. Secretary of the Treasury
6. Secretary of Defense
7. Attorney General
8. Secretary of the Interior
9. Secretary of Agriculture
10. Secretary of Commerce
11. Secretary of Labor
12. Secretary of Health and Human Services
13. Secretary of Housing and Urban Development
14. Secretary of Transportation
15. Secretary of Energy
16. Secretary of Education
17. Secretary of Veterans Affairs
18. Secretary of Homeland Security

So, the Speaker of the House of Representatives is second in line after the Vice President in the presidential succession plan.

Since I have heard rumors that Donald Trump’s name might be submitted for that position by MAGA loyalists, I asked Chat one more background question.

Do you have to be a congressman to be voted Speaker of the House?

ChatGPT

No, you do not have to be a member of the House of Representatives or a congressman to be elected as the Speaker of the House. While historically, the Speaker has typically been a member of the House, the Constitution does not explicitly require the Speaker to be a member of Congress. The Speaker is elected by the members of the House of Representatives from among their own ranks, but there is no constitutional requirement that the Speaker must be a sitting member of the House.

In theory, a non-member could be elected as Speaker, although this would be an extremely rare and unlikely scenario, as the Speaker’s role is closely tied to the legislative process and the leadership of the House of Representatives. Typically, members of the majority party in the House nominate and elect one of their own party members as Speaker. In practice, the Speaker has always been a member of the House.

So, the Speaker of the House is just two heartbeats away from being the President, and the cult of Donald J. Trump has a longshot way to get him back in the Whitehouse, through this back door.

Of course, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris stand in Trump’s way.

So, what does the MAGA crowd decide to do?  They opened up hearings to see if there is any way that they can impeach them, starting with Joe Biden.  Do they have any evidence of impeachment-worthy High Crimes committed by President Biden?  No, but that doesn’t stop them.  They are hoping that if they dig and dig and dig, they will find something, anything, that they can pass off to fellow like-minded Republicans as an impeachable offense.

They tried to overthrow the government on January 6^th, 2021, and failed, but they didn’t accept defeat and walk away.  They continue to try and overthrow the legitimately elected President so that their cult leader can regain the Presidency.

Six of the eight debaters in the GOP Presidential debates raised their hand to acknowledge that if Donald Trump is named as the Republican candidate for President in 2024, they will support him, even if he is convicted of multiple felonies before then.  They are under the control of the Donald J. Trump cult, and they have admitted it publicly.  At this point in time, the Republicans don’t even have a “lesser of two evils” candidate.  They are all submissive to the cult, except for the two candidates who didn’t raise their hands, Chris Christie and Asa Hutchinson.  Chris Christie is polling at 2.8% of Republicans favoring him.  Asa Hutchinson is polling at 0.5% of Republicans.  The Cult has a firm hand on 96.7% of the Republican Party candidates, and they will do anything to return their beloved wannabe dictator to power.

Those of us who want to preserve our Democracy cannot sit idly by.  Make sure that you are registered to vote.  The United States, in its storied history, has dealt with Barbary pirates, Foreign Governments, Nazis, and terrorists.  We can deal with crazy cults.  81,283,098 voted to remove Trump from office in 2020.  We need even more voters in 2024 to make sure that he and his co-conspirators never return. Register and vote. The Country you save may be your own.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

With apologies to Nat King Cole

Ramblin’ rose, Pinocchio Nose.

Why you ramble, no one knows

Wild and wind blown, that’s how your hair’s grown

Who can cling to a ramblin’ rose?

Ramble on, ramble on

Take the 5^th, as part of your con,

Who will love you with a love true

When your ramblin’ days are gone?

Orange Clothes, Pinocchio Nose,

Why MAGA hats want you, heaven knows

Who could love you with a love true

Who can still cling to this orange rose?

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

Look, up in the sky. It’s a bird. It’s a plane. No. It’s a farm vehicle.

When I was a boy, we pictured farmers as, well to put it bluntly, backward.  We even had an expression for somebody who was not too savvy, saying that they had just fallen off the turnip truck.  We pictured farms with a duck duck here and a duck duck there, singing E-I-E-I-O. 

Fast forward to today, and that UFO you see in the sky might just be a farmer surveying his crops in his new electric Vertical Take-off and Landing vehicle, eVTOL, for short.  Things sure have changed.

One hundred years ago there were 6.5 million farms in the United States.  32,000,000 Americans lived on a farm.  At that time it was 30 percent of the population.  Today less than 2 percent of the U.S. population make their living as farmers.  Small farms are going out of business. Today, we are down to about 2 million farms in the United States, but they produce more than the 6.5 million farms in days of yore.

Farms have gotten larger as big corporations have gobbled up many of the small farms, and high-tech has taken over. Only the Amish still use horses to plow their fields.  Today’s tractors come with air-conditioned cabins, auto steering and GPS navigation.  They also come with huge repair bills when they break down.  No longer can a farmer just tow a broken tractor into the barn and fix it themselves.  In some cases, they are prohibited from doing this by the manufacturer, and in other cases they’re just not that easy to fix.  Today, paying manufacturers for tractor repair is quite expensive.  So many farmers are fighting for laws that give them the right to repair their own vehicles. 

Most farmers are technically millionaires.  They are worth a lot on paper, but, in reality, have trouble making ends meet, because most of their money is tied-up in land and equipment.   Now, just to stay competitive, some of them are investing in electric Vertical Take Off and Landing vehicles to monitor their crops and livestock.    Instead of singing E-I-E-I-O, they are singing “Off we go into the wild blue yonder.”  It reminds me of the old TV program Sky King, who needed an airplane to keep an eye on his farm.

So, the next time you’re sitting down at the table enjoying a delicious spread of food, take a moment to thank a farmer. Buy locally grown food, if possible…and be sure to eat your vegetables.

Peace and Love, and all of the above,

Earl

In 1961, Ray Charles had a #1 hit with “Hit the Road, Jack.” So, anyone who isn’t collecting Social Security might have to go to YouTube to hear the original before they try to sing along with this parody I wrote for Donald Trump with the help of my new friend, ChatGPT.

Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

What you say? Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

Oh, Trump, oh Trump, don’t you treat us so bad, You’re the worst President that we ever had. You said you’d drain the swamp, but it’s deeper than before, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

(Chorus) Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

What you say? Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

Oh, Mitch, oh Mitch, you obstructed with a grin, You blocked the Senate floor, to let MAGA win. You played your partisan games, but we’ll show you the door, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

(Chorus) Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

What you say? Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

Oh, Ted, oh Ted, you fled to Cancun’s sun, When Texas faced a crisis, and you thought you’d have some fun. You left your people cold, but now we’ll even the score, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more.

Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

What you say? Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

Oh, Lindsey, oh Lindsey, you flipped your stance with ease, You praised the former president, and ignored the people’s pleas. You danced around the truth, but we’ll even the score, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

(Outro) Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more, Lock him up, Jack, so he don’t come back no more!

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

All this talk lately about AI, caused me to go back and take another look at ChatGPT. I asked it to write a 5,000-word blog post about Lancaster, PA, and this is the result. I may soon be forced into retirement.

Introduction

Ah, Lancaster, Pennsylvania, the land of rolling hills, peaceful farmland, and a surprising number of horse-drawn buggies on the road. This quaint little slice of Americana has long held a special place in the hearts of travelers and locals alike. But behind its picturesque façade lies a world of eccentricities, unexpected surprises, and a whole lot of delicious Pennsylvania Dutch cuisine. So, strap in, folks, because we’re about to take a 5000-word joyride through the wonderland that is Lancaster, PA.

Chapter 1: “Buggy Bumping: The Lancaster Traffic Jam”

Lancaster’s traffic is truly one of a kind. While most cities grapple with gridlock and endless honking, Lancaster residents deal with an entirely different beast – horse-drawn buggies. It’s like a never-ending parade of four-legged commuters. Picture this: you’re running late for a meeting, and you find yourself stuck behind a buggy named ‘Buttercup’ that seems to be in no hurry at all. It’s a test of patience, my friends, and a reminder to slow down and smell the hay.

Chapter 2: “The Unlikely Lingo: Pennsylvania Dutch”

Despite the name, Pennsylvania Dutch isn’t Dutch at all. It’s actually a dialect of German, spoken by the Amish and Mennonite communities in Lancaster. Trying to decipher their conversations is like trying to understand a chicken’s clucking. “Gutentag,” “Danki,” and “Schnitzelbank” are just a few phrases you’ll encounter, and they’ll leave you scratching your head. If you ever find yourself in a heated debate about whether “shoo-fly pie” is a dessert or a bug repellent, you’re probably in Lancaster.

Chapter 3: “Amish Hipsters: The Original Trendsetters”

The Amish people are known for their simple, traditional way of life. But here’s the twist – they inadvertently became the OG hipsters. Picture this: long beards, handmade clothes, and a predilection for local, organic food. Sound familiar? The Amish were rocking the beard trend way before it hit Brooklyn, and they were all about farm-to-table before it was cool. They even have their own version of “Farmers’ Markets” – they call them “Roadside Stands,” and trust me, they’re Instagram gold.

Chapter 4: “Shoofly Pie: A Sweet Mystery”

One of the culinary highlights of Lancaster is the mysterious shoofly pie. It’s a molasses-rich, crumbly concoction that seems like it was dreamed up in the kitchens of Willy Wonka himself. The origins of its name are as clear as molasses, but one thing’s for sure: you can’t leave Lancaster without trying a slice. Just don’t expect it to shoo away actual flies. Unless those flies are really into molasses, that is.

Chapter 5: “The Legend of Whoopie Pie”

If shoofly pie is Lancaster’s sweet mystery, then whoopie pies are its sugary superheroes. These delightful sandwich cookies, made from two moist cake-like cookies and a creamy filling, have a unique origin story. Legend has it that Amish wives would put them in their husbands’ lunchboxes, and when the men would find them, they’d shout, “Whoopie!” Whether true or not, one thing is certain – whoopie pies are so good that they’ll make anyone shout for joy.

Chapter 6: “Corn Mazes and Hayrides: Lancaster’s Wild Side”

You might think Lancaster is all about tranquil farmland, but come autumn, things get wild. Corn mazes pop up all over the place, and they’re like a real-life episode of “Lost.” It’s all fun and games until you realize you’ve been wandering in circles for hours, and your survival skills are put to the test. And don’t even get me started on hayrides – it’s a cozy, rustic activity until someone accidentally sits on a rogue pitchfork.

Chapter 7: “When the Tourists Come to Town”

Lancaster’s residents are used to tourists flocking to the area to experience the Amish lifestyle and sample the local delicacies. But every now and then, you’ll spot a tourist who’s taken their enthusiasm to a whole new level. Picture this: a family dressed head-to-toe in bonnets, suspenders, and straw hats, trying to hitch a ride on a passing buggy. It’s like a real-life episode of “Amish Swap,” and it’s just another day in Lancaster.

Chapter 8: “Barn Raisings and Butter Churnings: Amish DIY Extravaganza”

If there’s one thing the Amish excel at, it’s DIY projects. Their barn raisings are like a cross between a construction site and a neighborhood block party. Imagine 50 people working together to raise a barn in a single day, all fueled by shoofly pie and whoopie pies. And let’s not forget butter churnings, where the Amish turn cream into butter with the kind of enthusiasm usually reserved for dance-offs. DIY in Lancaster is serious business, folks.

Conclusion

Lancaster, Pennsylvania, may not be your typical tourist destination, but it’s a place filled with quirks, charm, and an unexpected dose of humor. From the never-ending parade of buggies to the sweet mysteries of shoofly pie and whoopie pies, Lancaster is a delightful slice of Americana that’s bound to leave you with a smile on your face. So, if you ever find yourself in the heart of Pennsylvania Dutch Country, be sure to slow down, savor the sights and sounds, and embrace the unique charm of Lancaster, PA – it’s a journey worth taking, one buggy at a time.

Peace & Love, and all of the above.

Earl

My new apartment is just opposite a storefront Pentecostal Church.  They hold services on Sunday, hours before my normal rising time, and they are loud.  From the size of the building, I can’t imagine it holds more than 25-50 people, but what they lack in numbers, they sure make up for in volume.  Ironically, I actually enjoy waking up to their songs on Sunday mornings.  The female parishioner, who is leading the congregation, manages to get everyone into the spirit, even me.

They don’t sing in English, so I don’t know what they’re saying, but it has spirit, lots of spirit, and I lie in bed and try to imagine what is going on.  I picture a scene near the end of an old Tarzan movie, after Tarzan has somehow saved the day for the tribe.  The natives are having a massive feast, dancing and chanting, and just as happy as can be.  That’s what it sounds like, to me.  The joy just seems to fill the neighborhood.

I didn’t hear them yesterday, and I don’t know why.  I just know that I was disappointed not to hear them.  It is a Sunday ritual I was beginning to enjoy very much.  In some way, it also provides me with a sense of connection with the neighborhood.  I don’t understand a word they are saying, but I feel the connection.  I guess that you could compare it to back when I was a Catholic and the mass was in Latin.  I didn’t understand all the words, but I felt the vibe.

I listened to a YouTube lecture this week given by Professor Robin Dunbar.  He is most famous for “The Dunbar Number,” 150.  His research revealed that 150 is the optimum number of meaningful contacts human beings should have.  If we have more meaningful contacts than that, we stretch ourselves too thin, and we cannot devote the proper amount of time to nurturing each relationship.  If we have fewer meaningful contacts, we can feel lonely.

This particular lecture, which I watched, was on the formation of the various religions, and their role in society.  Right away, he answered the first question that I and other Atheists and Agnostics would ask.  Why do people believe so strongly in something that cannot be proved?  His answer is that most people are not obsessed by Theology.  They didn’t study the 3,000 or so world religions and pick the one that had views closest to their own.  Instead, they simply attended the church their parents attended.  They grew to enjoy the company of other members of the church and developed a social bond with them.  The more often they went to church the stronger that bond became.  Infrequent church goers felt close to a couple other church goers.  Frequent church goers felt close to most of the other church goers, and people who went to church more often than once a week felt close to almost everyone in their congregation.  Basically, going to church made you feel happy, and you would be happiest if the congregation size was about 150 people.

The next thing he discussed was rituals.  People love rituals, and Religions are loaded with rituals.  The most popular rituals involved singing and dancing.  No wonder the Pentecostals across the street radiate joy.  They fit into the happiest category, church-goers, who like to sing and dance.  (Since I can’t see them, I don’t know if they are actually dancing, but I know that I can’t sit still while their music is playing.)

So, I’m still an Atheist, but now I see a purpose for religion, as a lubricant for social interaction and a source of pleasure for millions of people.  It doesn’t make any difference to me what they believe, as long as it isn’t “Kill non-believers.”

To address the lack of opportunities for Atheists to enjoy these benefits of religion, I’m even thinking of forming my own Church.  We would meet on Wednesdays, since that doesn’t seem to compete with any other religions, and our creed would be, “Believe whatever you want to believe, just don’t expect me to believe that, too.  Sing, dance, love your neighbor, and be happy.”

Since a good religion also has rituals that people can look forward to, we would probably serve beer.

Sing Halleluia.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl