earlthepearl137

The Grand Slam Weekend

April 30, 2014April 30, 2014 by earlthepearl137

Carey Van Driest

Paul Orndorf and Mr. T

The View from my Bar Stool

Tilda and I in the backyard of the Cell Theatre

Back when I first moved to Lancaster, it seemed I was travelling back to New York on Amtrak almost every weekend. There was always a party or a show or something that I didn’t want to miss. Now, I only take that Amtrak ride if I have a couple things to do in New York. This past weekend I really got a lot of bang for my travelling buck. I call it the Grand Slam weekend. I was busy every day.

I went to an awards dinner on Friday honoring the 6 New Yorkers who were recently inducted into the National Wrestling Hall of Fame. On Saturday I went to a Country Western Dance in Port Washington. On Sunday I went to an off-Broadway show, The International. On Monday I spent a day at the Beach, and when I got back to Lancaster I went to a local theatre production of The Buddy Holly Story. As if that wasn’t enough activity for one weekend I also got invited and later disinvited to my nephew’s wedding next year.

It all started with the awards dinner. My friend Hilary Becker was one of the inductees into the Wrestling Hall of Fame in Stillwater, Oklahoma. Many years ago, I attended a little theatre production of Oklahoma which starred his then girlfriend, Geralyn, who is today his wife. So, now they’ve both “been in Oklahoma” without ever going there.

There were about 450 people in attendance in the Mellville Marriott Ballroom, and Hilary’s Becker Real Estate company had paid for a good number of them. I was one of those lucky individuals. I gobbled down course after course as the honorees made their speeches. They all thanked their parents, their wrestling coaches, and their children. Hilary, who is deeply religious, thanked God for his parents, thanked God for his wrestling coaches, and thanked God for his children. It appeared to me that now that he was successfully inducted into the Wrestling Hall of Fame, he was now campaigning for induction into Heaven.

You know how they play music at the Oscar’s when somebody goes overtime making their acceptance speech? Well, they had a buzzer sound that went off when the time was up, but they all disregarded it and kept right on going. So, the night went on a little later than expected, and eating all that banquet food gave me gas. Occasionally, the speakers told a joke and I was afraid that I might pass gas while laughing at a joke. Instead of going to the bathroom to relieve myself, I prepared to combat embarrassment with humor. I figured that if I accidentally let one rip, I would just follow it by saying loudly, “Time’s up.”

On Friday night I slept over at Brother X’s house, and they informed me that their son and his fiancée had set a date and I was invited to their wedding. They asked me if I could think of any good songs for the DJ to play when they made their entrance at the reception as the father and mother of the groom. By the time I finished my suggestions, which included If You Want To Be Happy For The Rest of Your Life Never Make a Pretty Woman Your Wife and Mother-in-Law I was disinvited to the wedding.

On Saturday afternoon we went out for Carvel. Mrs. X stayed in the car while Brother X and I went in to get the ice cream. He ordered a cone for her and then remembered that she preferred sugar cones to the wafer kind, but since the attendant had already started making her cone, he said he would just tell her that they were out of sugar cones. He went outside to deliver his wife’s cone and the man asked me what I wanted. “Same thing,” I said, “except give me a sugar cone.” I love busting their horns. I bet they wish they could really disinvite me from the wedding.

Saturday night was a Country Western Dance in Port Washington with my friends Tilda, Joan, Larry, Debbie, Nancy, Rad and Dotty, Patrice, and Jim. Normally I spend most of the night at the bar, but this time I spent most of the evening dancing with friends who wanted the inside scoop on my dating situation in Lancaster. I didn’t realize that they all read the posts on this web page and, therefore, knew I was seeing someone in Lancaster.

Sunday afternoon I went to an off-Broadway show with Tilda. It was called The International and was about the destruction of a village, and the murder of most of the villagers. The story is told by 3 actors. One plays a local woman who was raped by the enemy while the rest of her village was being murdered. So, it obviously wasn’t a comedy, but there was one good joke in the play. She was talking about her husband who was a blacksmith and shoed horses all day. She said that when he came home he smelled like a horse, but unfortunately he was hung like a man.

The writing was excellent, and the acting was superb. By the end, the entire audience was crying, but we were all glad we had witnessed such an amazing show. We were not surprised to learn that Carey Van Driest won a Best Actress award for her portrayal of the village woman. The show is only playing through May 3^rd at the Cell Theatre on 23^rd St. (between 8^th & 9^th Avenues). Tickets are just $35 and I would recommend it to any serious theatregoer.

Afterwards, Tilda and I had to go for a drink, and I told her about the online Bartending course I am taking. I told her that bartender’s don’t use shot glasses to measure drinks anymore. They just pour the liquor through one of those easy pour spouts and count. Every 4 counts equals one ounce. So, if you are serving a drink that calls for an ounce and a half of liquor, you would count to six while pouring.

“What happens if you stutter?” she said.

I guessed that the customer would get a really strong drink. She pantomimed pouring as she said, “W-w-w-w-w-one, t-t-t-t-t-two…”

We weren’t completely over the horrors of the war we had just witnessed on stage, but we were laughing again.

Then I went to Long Beach to visit my friends John & Margaret. When I told John about the idea of a stuttering bartender, he said he would probably order a shot of Scotch in a tall glass. That started us laughing and we just kept telling jokes and laughing for hours.

When I got back to Lancaster I took Debbie to see The Buddy Holly Story at the Fulton Theatre. We both loved it. Naturally, I enjoyed all the Buddy Holly music, but I especially enjoyed when everyone came on stage at the end to do Johnny B. Goode. That’s my karaoke song. I stood up and added my voice to theirs. Fortunately, everyone else in the theatre was also standing and singing, so I didn’t get disinvited to any future events.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

Going to the Chair

April 17, 2014 by earlthepearl137

I was doing some luxury shopping at the Dollar Store opposite the Barber School, and I figured I might as well get a haircut while I was in the vicinity. I didn’t really think I needed one, but Easter is this Sunday, and I’m going out with Debbie and her mother for Easter Dinner. I never met her mother before, so I figured that a fresh haircut might help make a good first impression.

There’s never a line at the Barber School. At $3 a haircut, they do draw a lot of customers, but they’ve got a couple dozen guys waiting around just to practice on somebody. So, there’s never a line, but I always have to wait a little bit, while a half dozen future black barbers figure out who needs the most practice on Caucasian hair.

For $3 you get the hair cut out of wherever it appears north of your neck, your head, your ears, your eyebrows – all included. Like I said, these guys want to practice, and I usually get the guy that needs the most. That’s cool, though. When the student is finished and turns me towards the instructor, the instructor fixes whatever they botched up, and schools them. So, I get two haircuts for $3, the rough cut by the student, and the finishing cut by the instructor.

Today, I got a guy who was in his second week of training.

“How do you want it cut?”

“Just a trim.”

I think he was cutting one or two hairs at a time. He didn’t talk as he concentrated on his work, but after 45 minutes, he relaxed a bit and talked to me. His arms were tired from holding them up in the air with the comb and scissors so long. I asked him if his feet hurt. I would think your feet would get tired of holding up your body, before your arms got tired of holding up a scissors. He said his feet didn’t bother him a bit. I was surprised.

I told him that I had been getting my haircut at the Barber’s School since January. I told him that I was new in town. He told me that he was too.

I asked him where he was from.

“Prison,” he said, and I was surprised again. Not that he just got out of prison, but because he was so open about it. We talked about it a bit and he continued to snip away. He was determined to turn his life around. Now, he wanted to be a barber, instead of being a hoodlum. I hoped he would make it. Especially since he now had access to both a straight razor and my neck.

“You gonna be done by 6?” the instructor asked him.

“Sure, Mr. G.”

Six o’clock came and went and he was still snipping away. Finally, around 6:10 he put down the scissors, picked up the clippers and asked me if I wanted it round or square in the back. Ten minutes later he was done. He called Mr. G. over to inspect his work.

There wasn’t much hair left for Mr. G to work with, but he evened out the rough spots, and pointed out ways that the young barber could improve.

The young man paid close attention, and I hoped that he would graduate from Barber School and someday have his own barbershop.

When the hand mirror came out I didn’t quite recognize myself. Only in Boot Camp was my hair ever shorter. Oh well, it’s only hair. I figure I’m still just a six-pack shy of handsome, and maybe my hair will grow in a little bit by Easter.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

Rhythm of the Rain

April 2, 2014 by earlthepearl137

By now, I’m sure you’re all familiar with my friends Marianne, Geralyn, and Maria. We’ve partied together for years. Last year we all went to Las Vegas and it rained for three days straight. The locals were amazed. We were just wet.

Then, Maria was one of my first friends to drive to Lancaster to visit me and she hit thunderstorms all the way down. All the First Friday street activity was rained out, too. After that white-knuckle driving experience, she decided to take Amtrak the next time she visited me. Well, Marianne’s daughter Jessie, who recently toured China with an Irish Step Dancing group, was now touring the U.S. with a different group, Rhythm in the Night, and they would be playing the Whitaker Center in Harrisburg, PA., about 35 miles from me. I got two tickets and Maria said she would meet me in Harrisburg.

Actually, since I knew what train she was on, I met her in Lancaster, and we rode to Harrisburg together. It rained all the way, and it was still raining hard when we got there. Fortunately, the theatre was only two blocks away, but they were two cold, wet blocks.

More fortunately, there was a bar near the theater where we could wet our whistles and dry our bones at the same time. It was a huge bar called The Gingerbread Man. It was actually two huge bars, divided by the kitchen they both shared. One bar for smokers and one for non-smokers. We were in the smoking bar, even though we don’t smoke, because that’s where all the people were. I peeked through a smoky window by the rest rooms and saw that there was only 1 guy in the non-smoking bar. He wasn’t even drinking. He was watching the TV.

We left the bar a few minutes before show time, and settled in for the show. When the curtain opened all I could see was a vast field of stars in the background. “Space. The Final Frontier,” I thought. Apparently, I must have been thinking out loud, because I got a few hairy eyeballs from audience members.

The first character to appear continued the space theme for me. He sort of looked like Ming the Merciless from the old Flash Gordon show. With his well-muscled upper body, he also looked a lot like Ray Mysterio, the Masked Mexican wrestler.

Then the dancing began, and it was practically non-stop dancing from there to intermission. We were in the front row of the audience, so I figured I’d be able to spot Jessie right away. You see those characters in the picture, dressed in what looked like haz-mat costumes. She was one of them. Good luck trying to pick her out. Later in the show, though, the costumes got skimpier and the masks were removed. Then we recognized her, and from then on we probably followed her dancing more than we did the story.

After the show, the cast came out to meet the audience. After two hours of incredible Irish step dancing, they all looked like they had just gotten out of the pool. You could feel the heat radiating off their bodies.

They were supposed to have another show at 7:30, but because of a scheduling conflict at the center it got cancelled, and they all looked a bit relieved. When you consider that the top finishers in the marathon usually finish in two hours and change, this cast had just danced a marathon, while wearing robes, hoods, and masks most of the time. At least marathoners get to wear short shorts and tank tops.

So, while we’re talking with Jessie, in walks her father, Tres. Since the evening show was cancelled, he’s going to drive Jessie back to New York to spend a little time with family.

“When did you get here?” I asked.

“I’ve been here for hours,” he said. It turns out that he was the one guy who was sitting in the non-smoking section of The Gingerbread Man. He was watching a Nascar race before the show.

After the show, Maria and I went back to The Gingerbread Man. It wasn’t raining anymore. Now, it had turned to sleet. It was still sleeting when it was time for us to catch our train back. Thanks to the beverages we had consumed, we braved the weather and even sang a little bit of “Singing in the Rain,” as we sloshed through the sleet on our way to the train station. Maria was headed back to New York, but I got off in Lancaster. When I got off the train, the weather was suddenly clear, with no sleet on the ground.

When I told my friends the story, they wondered if the local farmers would pay for Maria to come and visit, the next time there’s a drought. I remembered that she said that she would come back for another visit on May 10^th, when I throw out the first ball in a minor league baseball game between the Lancaster Barnstormers and the Long Island Ducks. Now, I’m just hoping that game doesn’t get rained out.

She’s probably thinking, every time I go somewhere with Earl, it rains. So, she must think I’m the jinx. Who knows? Maybe I am. We’ll find out on May 10th.

Go Barnstormers.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

There’s Snow Place Like Home

March 18, 2014 by earlthepearl137

It seems like ever since I moved here it’s been one long party, and the sky just keeps throwing more confetti. At least that’s my “glass half full” view of things. Most people look forward to the first snowfall of the year, but very few are still awed by nature’s wonder, after they’ve seen the show a few times. This winter most of us saw the snow show way too many times. Finally, it’s starting to warm up, and it looks like Old Man Winter might be going to bed. I’m glad I made it through my first winter in Pennsylvania.

Remember that Dickens story? “It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.”

I guess that sometimes it’s all in the way you look at things. I found this video made by somebody else who moved to Pennsylvania this year, who found the glass not half empty, but constantly filling with snow. I think you’ll find it amusing. I dedicate it to all those who shoveled too much snow this year.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/5jswAsFtpDo

Peace and Love, and all of the above,

Earl

Hard Times for some, Good Times for others.

March 7, 2014March 7, 2014 by earlthepearl137

The Play is the Thing.

“Why don’t you write a play?” Marianne asked me.

“I like writing screenplays,” I said.

“Take one and turn it into a play.”

“Why?”

“To get a chance to see it performed.”

That was my “Ah-ha Moment.” If I simply rewrite one of my screenplays as a stage show, I might actually get a chance to see it performed live. I have three screenplays on the shelf, which may never be lucky enough to be turned into celluloid, but now, one of them, at least, has a chance of making it to a stage someplace.

We were in Jake’s bar, at a post-show party with Larry Kirwan, the playwright, and several members of the cast of Hard Times, a terrific musical which we had just seen at a theatre called The Cell, around the corner on 23^rd St. Lilly, the barmaid, had just placed another pint of Jake’s Wild Ale and a plate of sliders in front of me, so I was having a good time.

About 30 years ago I started writing my first novel, Two Ships Passing…One Failing. It grew to 600 pages and was still far from finished, when I decided to try it as a screenplay instead. The standard screenplay is 120 pages long, so I already had 5 times what I needed. I figured that editing what I had down to a mere 120 pages would help show me the heart of the story. I read Screenwriting for Dummies to gain a little insight into screenwriting, and then I sat down to write. It worked. It actually worked. The first draft of the screenplay practically wrote itself. I was done in three weeks. Plus, now, I knew where the heart of the story was. I knew what to leave in and what to leave out of the novel.

Only thing is, I never went back to completing the novel. Instead, I worked on another screenplay, Bless Me, Jack. Then I wrote another, Miles to Go Before I Sleep. Now, I’m working on sequels for all three of them. I love writing screenplays. The trouble is that nothing I have ever written has gone beyond the printed page, though. I just print them out, put them in a binder, and find a place for them on my bookshelf. So, I have almost no chance of ever seeing any of them performed. Now, however, through Marianne, I have a very good connection to many Manhattan Theatres, and I just might have a fairly good shot to have a play performed there. Of course, I just moved out of New York and into Lancaster. Isn’t that how Murphy’s Law works?

Of course, I know that playwriting is a craft that requires a lot of study. So, I just went to Amazon and ordered “Playwriting for Dummies,” hoping that would help me to become the playwright I want to be in a few short weeks.

I also tried to immerse myself in the art form by going to another show, Devil Dog Six, at a theatre on 36^th St. The Play was about horse racing, and I loved it. So, I was bitten by the theatre bug. A playwright was born.

It helped that I was a little high. I went to the show with my friend Maria, and we started the day with brunch. We drank our official drink from the Vegas trip, Geralinis, which are simply Bellinis with more sparkling Prosecco wine, and less peach nectar, and we had bacon that looked like the slab of ribs in a Fred Flintstone cartoon. It was so thick, we both needed steak knives for the bacon.

Suffice it to say that we were well greased by the time we got to the show, and we got caught up in it, right from the beginning.

That’s the amazing thing about a stage production. This was off off off off, way off Broadway. It was on the third floor of an office building on 36^th Street. There were no sets. Actors played the horses, and the same actors played people. There were no car chases and nothing blew up. To enjoy the play, you had to use your imagination, and I had another “Ah Ha moment.” This was a two-way street between the audience and the stage. The more we used our imagination the better the story got, and the better the story got, the more we got to use our imagination.

I think I learned the secret. It isn’t to give the audience what they want, it’s to give the audience enough for them to get what they want by themselves. So, give my regards to old Broadway…and tell them I should have something ready in about three weeks.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

Something Old. Something New. Something Vinegary. Navy Blue.

February 12, 2014February 13, 2014 by earlthepearl137

BT & Me

This was a great weekend. The centerpiece was Debra and Scott’s wedding. When I got the invitation, I didn’t know Debra very well and I didn’t know Scott at all. The bride is my cousin Patrick’s daughter, though. So, we’re related. That’s probably the reason why I was invited. No matter. It was a party, and I made the guest list, so, of course, I went.

I’m glad I did. It was a fascinating weekend. The hotel the wedding guests stayed at was in State College, Pennsylvania, the home of the famous and infamous Nittany Lions. It was also the home of BT Schwier, one of my best friends from my old Navy days. The day after the wedding, I actually wound up having brunch with him in the Nittany Lion Inn, a luxurious hotel and restaurant the college runs as part of their Hotel & Restaurant Degree Program. It was an awesome meal, in an awesome place, with an awesome old friend. There were four rooms of food choices, in addition to the mountain of desserts stacked in the main dining room. There were so many good things to eat, and the conversation was so lively that I didn’t even notice that there weren’t any mimosas until I was on the bus back home.

Brother X and his wife were at the wedding. I was glad of that. Now that my dancing days are getting behind me, it was good to know that I would be sitting at the table with people I knew. Plus, since it was a wedding, not a Family Thanksgiving Dinner, the conversation would be on the funny side, too. There are a lot of fun things to talk about at weddings. Usually, it’s every other guest.

My fun weekend actually started on Thursday, though. Way back during the football playoffs, my friend Dwayne and I went to the Alley Kat for some pizza and beer to go. We had a beer while we waited for our order. We couldn’t get a seat at the bar, but we were close. The couple sitting at the bar in front of us, had come from a holiday party, and they were having a lot of fun. She turned to me and said, “Where are you from?”

“Well, right now, I’m from around the corner, but I used to live on Long Island.”

“I thought so. You sound just like my friend, Debbie. How tall are you?”

“Five-eleven and a half.”

“Take off your hat.”

I did as directed.

“You’ve got hair. You should lose the hat.”

“But it’s cold out.”

“I’m Denise. This is Mike. What’s your phone number?”

I looked over at the guy, whose thighs were in her hands, and wondered what was going on.

“What’s your phone number?” she repeated. “You’d be perfect for my friend, Debbie. She’s in California now, but I’ll tell her about you when she gets back.”

I gave her my number, and several weeks later Debbie actually did call me. She was interested in meeting me, but she wanted to know more about me than just that I was five eleven and a half and had hair. She wanted to know specific details, like if I was out on bail. That kind of stuff.

During the course of the Q & A phone call, she asked me about my religion. I told her I was an Agnostic, and she volunteered that she was a Mennonite.” I thought that my Agnosticism would be a deal-breaker, but I must have given enough correct answers to the other questions, and so, last Thursday we went out for an early dinner.

During the evening, she commented that she didn’t wear the little bonnets that most Mennonite women wore.

“Mennonite?” I said in mock surprise. “I thought you said you were looking for a “man-a-night.” That’s why I said to pencil me in for Thursday.”

She actually laughed. That’s my kind of Mennonite.

Anyway, back to the wedding. I was talking to Brother X, and I told him about the telephone “interview” before my blind date with Debbie.

“It’s strange when someone asks you to describe yourself in one word,” I said. “What one word would you use to describe me?”

“Douchebag.”

“I think that’s two words.”

“See what I mean. You’re a douchebag.”

“Well, I don’t think that would have been a good answer. I went with, ‘Fun-loving’.”

“Douchebag would have been more accurate,” he said. “I can even smell the vinegar on your breath.”

“I think that’s just the house dressing from the salad.”

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

The Final Four – A Super Bore

January 13, 2014 by earlthepearl137

After this past weekend’s football games, the contenders for this year’s Super Bowl are now narrowed down to 4 teams – The San Francisco Forty-niners, The Seattle Seahawks, The Denver Broncos, and some other team. I forgot who the last team is. Honestly. I guess that shows how little interest I have in this year’s Super Bowl.

I don’t think many people really care about the Super Bowl. When our favorite team isn’t in the game, we really don’t care who wins. We only care about the score of the game, and how close we are to winning the football pool, you know, that big grid with 100 boxes and 10 numbers across the top and 10 numbers down the side. We only care that the box with our name in it is the winner.

Well, that’s not exactly true. We also care about the Super Bowl Party. That’s one of the biggest and best parties of the year.

As far as the betting is concerned, even though you may only have 1 chance in a 100 of winning the Super Bowl pool, there are two things that are sure bets every year at Super Bowl time. There will always be the same two stories on the TV news. One will be about a bookie that got busted taking Super Bowl bets. The other story you can bet on is that there will be a nationwide shortage of chicken wings. The rest of the year the breast meat may be the most popular part of the chicken, but on Super Bowl Sunday everyone wants wings.

There is one other anomaly on Super Bowl Sunday. Everyone pays attention to the television commercials. All year we try to fast forward past the commercials. On Super Bowl Sunday we pay very close attention to the commercials. How weird is that?

Super Bowl Buzz – The two states that legalized recreational pot this year, Colorado and Washington, both have teams in the final four for the Super Bowl. Since they don’t play against each other in the League Championship games, it is quite possible that they will be the two teams in the Super Bowl. If that happens, I think this could bring Super Bowl parties to a new all-time high, literally, and chicken wings won’t be the only thing in short supply.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

The End is Here, and a New Beginning is Right Behind It

January 8, 2014 by earlthepearl137

2013 went out quietly for me. I planned to go to Clipper Magazine Stadium to see 20 bands perform on New Year’s Eve, but I started celebrating early and I fell asleep in my recliner long before the ball dropped.

I woke up at midnight when the fireworks display started in the center of town., and I went right back to celebrating. Couldn’t let all that champagne go to waste.

I had a lot to celebrate, too. Finding a nice apartment in Lancaster was near the top of the list. I also managed to complete my third screenplay just before 2013 ended. So, after 4 year of being “almost done,” Miles To Go Before I Sleep is now finished. (Well, the first draft, at least.) That was an ending I looked forward to for a long, long time.

2013 took away some of my friends and relatives, and I know that friends like Cheryl Goldberg can never be replaced, but as I get older I realize that I am lucky to have whatever time I spend with my friends, no matter how short it seems.

I did spend a lot of time with many of my friends in 2013. I made a dozen trips to New York since venturing out to Lancaster in August. I also made my first trip to Las Vegas with my friends Marianne, Maria, Sabrina, and Geralyn.

Geralyn also helped me ring in the New Year. She stopped off at my place on her way back from a New Year’s celebration in nearby Harrisburg. She enjoyed the quaint town of Lancaster even though almost every place we went to was closed as they were recuperating from the previous night’s festivities. I know she’s gonna love this town when she returns for another visit and it’s open.

I’m already recruiting visitors for 2014. I only live 2 blocks from the minor league baseball stadium and everyone is invited to go see the Lancaster Barnstormers play, especially when they play the 2013 Champions, The Long Island Ducks. I’ll even spring for the tickets. At $7.50 for field box seats right behind the dugout, I can afford to be generous. The Barnstormers might not be as good as the Yankees, but the beers are just as good, and the hot dogs might even be better. They even have an all-you-can-eat buffet at the ballpark. Take that, Yankees!!!

I already bought a baseball package that includes 10 tickets to any 10 games and gives me the privilege of throwing out the first ball at one of the games. Don’t forget to bring your cowbell to that game. The cowbell is the official noisemaker of the Barnstormers. And we all know that there is always room for more cowbell.

Sports isn’t all I’ll be enjoying in 2014. The Arts flourish in Lancaster, too. I’ve got an orchestra ticket to see Arsenic and Old Lace at the Fulton Theatre in February. I won’t tell you how little that cost, or you might cry the next time you shell out a small fortune for a Broadway show.

The highlight of the year, though, should be the Bar-B-Q I’m planning in the back yard this summer. The landlord put down patio blocks where the small lawn used to be, and the roses he planted should be in bloom by then. (That is if the Polar Vortex didn’t kill them.) I’m hoping that a lot of you will show up for that. I’ll even throw in tickets to the ballgame, so you can eat their hot dogs if you prefer them to mine.

Year’s ago I used to go to the annual Bar-B-Q that my friends Tom and Regina threw before The Mets Opening Day game. I don’t think I can top that event, but I’ll certainly give it a try. Back then, they chartered a bus to take us to the game. Maybe I can get some of the local Amish to run a “shuttle-buggy” to the ballfield. I just have to find one who is willing to allow a keg in the buggy.

Yes, I love it here in Lancaster, but I still plan to make a lot of trips to New York in 2014. We’ve got a lot of things here, but we don’t have a beach. My friends John and Margaret in Long Beach are only two blocks from the ocean. It’s a little difficult thinking about the ocean now, while the temperature is minus something, but I’m sure gonna enjoy Long Beach in the summertime.

I’ll have to go to New York for Country Dancing, too. Nothing compares to the monthly dances at the Polish Hall in Port Washington. Heck, it’s worth the trip to New York, just for the fun I have in the car ride to “The Port” with my friends Joan and Tilda (pictured above).

I’m also looking forward to going to New York for an engagement party in 2014 for my nephew DJ and his high-school-sweetheart, now fiancé, Stacey. I just hope I don’t get in trouble with Brother X for using their real names here. He doesn’t like posting anything about his life on the Internet, but I can’t very well say I am going to the engagement party of Nephew X and fiancé X. That would sound stupid.

New York isn’t the only place I’ll be visiting to see friends, either. My friends Barbara and Jim in New Jersey are always up for a party. My relatives in Johnstown, PA and Ohio are always fun to visit. I also have a wedding to go to in State College, PA this year. Plus, those of us who made the Vegas trip and spent hours delayed in the Houston Airport, have got big fat airline vouchers burning holes in our pockets waiting to take us on another adventure.

So, good-bye 2013. Hello 2014, and a Happy, Healthy, Prosperous New Year to everyone.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

Richard Scott wins the Handicappers Association of North America Contest

December 15, 2013 by earlthepearl137

PRESS RELEASE

For Immediate Release

FFI – Contact Allan Schott at allan@hanaweb.org

Richard Scott Named Champion of 2013 Grand Circuit Handicapping Challenge

December 15, 2013 – Despite attempts by other contestants to execute ‘Hail Mary’ wagers in an effort to seek the payoff positions, Richard Scott is the winner of HANA Harness’ 2013 Grand Circuit Handicapping Challenge sponsored by the Hambletonian Society, Chicago Harness, IHHA, Meadowlands Racing and Entertainment, Tioga Downs, and Vernon Downs.

Scott’s victory seemed assured as far back as July 21 when he exploded for a profit of $1,023.40 at Tioga Downs that weekend which created a lead which would never be challenged as no other handicapper was able to get that ‘big hit’ to put them back in the running. Scott’s final winning margin was $743.67.

However, in the last event of the season, Rusty Nash was able to use the Cleveland Classic at Northfield Park to earn a weekly profit of $51.60, allowing him to sneak into second place, pushing Earl Paulson into third. The only other handicapper which showed a profit for the week was Scott with a profit of $0.60.

The prize fund for the contest reached $3,250. As a result of the final results, Scott’s horse rescue, Changing Fates Equine Rescue will be a recipient of $1,250. Nash’s rescue, Maine State Society for the Protection of Animals is slated to receive $875, while Paulson’s third place finish results in a $375 donation to Heading for Home. In addition to these donations, additional donations will be made in honor of Scott’s victory by the Illinois Harness Horseman Association and Red Shores Charlottetown to local standardbred rescues. Those organizations which handle more than standardbreds have committed to using these proceeds solely for the benefit of standardbred rescues.

Here are the final standings for the contest.

Final Standings
Pos	Handicapper	Week Gain	Net Profit	Behind	Last Pos	Days Missed
1st	Richard Scott	$0.60	($133.80)		1st	6
2nd	Rusty Nash	$51.60	($877.47)	($743.67)	3rd	4
3rd	Earl Paulson	($30.00)	($900.85)	($767.05)	2nd	7
4th	Ann Stepien	($30.00)	($1,092.35)	($958.55)	4th	1
5th	Dennis O’Hara	($30.00)	($1,267.85)	($1,134.05)	5th	2
6th	Garnet Barnsdale	($30.00)	($1,487.74)	($1,353.94)	6th	10
7th	Gordon Waterstone	($30.00)	($2,100.60)	($1,966.80)	7th	4
8th	Mark McKelvie	($30.00)	($2,409.79)	($2,275.99)	8th	9
9th	Sally Hinckley	($30.00)	($2,730.50)	($2,596.70)	9th	0
10th	Ray Garnett	($30.00)	($3,240.43)	($3,106.63)	10th	3
Ten grace days permitted. After ten days, there is a penalty of $30 per race.

HANA Harness would like to thank all our sponsors, the Hambletonian Society, Chicago Harness, IHHA, Meadowlands Racing & Entertainment, Tioga Downs, Vernon Downs, and Red Shores Charlottetown for not only being sponsors of this year’s contest but their commitment to help standardbreds seeking a second chance.

A Tree Glows in Lancaster

December 10, 2013December 10, 2013 by earlthepearl137

My friend Maria drove 200 miles through pouring rain on Friday to bring me furniture and Christmas decorations, but mainly to party here for the monthly town party known as Lancaster First Friday. With the heavy downpour of rain, the outdoor festivities were cancelled, but the indoor fun continued.

We started at the Belvedere Inn, compliments of my friends Barbara and John, who gave me a gift certificate for the place as a housewarming gift when I moved in. I was saving it for just the right occasion and this was it. The Belvedere Inn is probably the best restaurant in Lancaster, and after 200 miles of white-knuckle driving in the heavy rain, Maria needed a good meal and a drink – not necessarily in that order.

I didn’t make reservations so we had to go to the bar until a table opened up. That suited us both just fine. We toyed with the idea of drinking Geralynis, a drink made famous by our friend Geralyn on the Las Vegas trip. (In case you’ve forgotten, I went to Vegas a few weeks ago with Maria, Geralyn, Marianne, and Sabrina.) We decided, though, to stick to more conventional beverages, wine and beer.

To show off my knowledge of Lancaster, I told Maria that “the Belvedere Inn has live jazz on Friday nights from 7 until 10. After that they have Disco.”

The bartender cringed and bit his lip. I looked at him and said that I heard they had Disco on late Friday nights. He informed me that they did indeed have a DJ, but that Disco died nearly 4 decades ago.

Ooops, my age was showing.

A table was now available upstairs, and we went there. We could hear the jazz coming from a room next door and it was great. So was the Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad, the Salmon, and the Lamb Chops. Thank you Barbara and John.

It was still pouring when we left the Belvedere Inn, so we went around the corner to my favorite bar in Lancaster, The Alley Kat, a place where the entire staff is too young to know that there ever was a dance called the Alley Cat, which played at every wedding in the ‘50s, ‘60s, and ‘70s. We were already stuffed so we just drank, but I told Maria that this was where I went every Monday for the Pizza special, a 15 inch pizza for $6.00. I also went there on Thursdays for the live music and the best pastrami sandwich I ever had in my life. (I’ve since learned that they go to NY every Tuesday and pick up their pastrami at the Carnegie Deli. No wonder it’s so good.)

After that, since it was still pouring, we decided not to venture too far away. We went back to the Belevedere Inn to see what was the difference between DJ and Disco music. I have to admit that I wasn’t saddened when disco had died 40 years previously, but the techno music the DJ was playing, did start to make me nostalgic for those good old days. We finished our drinks and left.

We went back to my apartment and took turns being the DJ on the boom box Maria had brought me. It was about 2 in the morning, but my upstairs neighbors are noisy night owls, so I wasn’t worried about keeping them awake. We blasted the music, until we were finally too tired to stay awake.

The next morning we went back to New York for Marianne’s Christmas Party. The rain had stopped. The roads were clear, and we made it in 3 fun-filled hours, while listening to the best of the ‘60s on Sirius Radio.

Marianne and her husband Tres always have a great Christmas Party every year, but this year it was even better than usual. Bob, the piano player, always makes it special and is ready to play any song we want to sing. Bob played at their wedding and has been a staple at their parties ever since. Marianne, Maria, Geralyn, and I were all drinking our Las Vegas drink of choice, Geralynis, made with Champagne, Peach Schnappes, and Peach nectar. Sabrina wasn’t there as she had gone back to Chicago by this time, but she was there with us in spirit, and we were certainly soaked in spirits.

The party ended about an hour before I had to catch the Long Island Railroad to Penn Station to catch the Amtrak back to Lancaster. Marianne’s son Will stayed up to make sure I woke up on time to catch my 5:04 a.m train. Will had to work the next day, so he couldn’t have gotten more than an hour’s sleep. I want to extend a big Thank You to Will for that.

By 10 a.m. I was back in Lancaster, just before it began to snow. I set up my new Christmas tree as I watched the snow coming down for the first time since I’ve been in Lancaster.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Happy Holidays to all my friends and family.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl

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