The Honeymoon is Over

The Honeymoon is Over.
The first few weeks of the Social Distancing and Home Sheltering went smoothly.  With the exception of the “Black Friday” rush for toilet paper, people everywhere were helping their neighbors. My friend Tilda, a seamstress, is making masks for all 50 people in her building. My upstairs neighbor, Shawn, brought me two boxes of wine. There were a lot of stories like that. But recently I’m noticing that some people are starting to come unglued. For them, the honeymoon is over.

The Shining - Ax Scene - Toilet Paper

I have been de-stressing by using my phone to video myself playing the clarinet, and I’ve been posting some of the less squeaky songs on Facebook. I can’t post video on this blog, so I’ve been posting them there. Count your blessings. My Facebook friends have been very supportive, though, making positive comments, and even offering some suggestions. I played The Ballad of Davy Crocket and my friend Denise suggested I wear a coonskin cap. I just so happen to have a coonskin cap. So, I’m going to “Head back into the studio” for that one.


I started making lists of songs I can play that might be fun on the clarinet. I can do those notes at the beginning of Smoke on the Water, and it sounds pretty cool, but it goes immediately downhill after that. It’s just not a good clarinet song. Yankee Doodle sounds good on a clarinet. I added that to my song list, and I’ve got notes on what would be good to wear while playing those songs, an appropriate t-shirt or hat, like a ballcap for Take Me Out to the Ballgame. Now, I’m starting to wonder what I should have in the background while I’m playing. Pictures???  Maybe I could add sound effects???
It’s getting crazy out there, and I have a feeling that I’ll be right near the front of the crazy parade, at least virtually. Hey, I wonder if Seventy-six Trombones would be a good song on the clarinet. I wonder what kind of outfit would go with that song.

Avoid the crazies.  Be safe at home.

Safe at Home

Peace & Love and all of the above,
Earl

Sitting in La-La, Playing with my Ya-Ya

The End is Near

Whether you’re self-quarantining, home sheltering, or just plain hunkering down against this Covid-19 pandemic, I hope you have plenty of food, drink, and, of course, the current Tickle-Me-Elmoish/Cabbage-Patch-dollish-must-have item of the year, toilet paper. I, personally, was more concerned on stocking up on rolling papers, but we all handle crisis differently. Besides, my buddy Tommy provided me with a solution to the toilet paper shortage. Spray your butt hole with a little WD-40 every morning and the poop will slide off. Thanks Tom. I sure hope your wife Lydia doesn’t kill you during your home sheltering. Nobody falls for that “I just want to lubricate your butt to save toilet paper ploy” anymore.

While many of us are home sheltering to avoid the Covid-19 virus, we should also be wary of the symptoms of Cabin Fever. It can quickly lead to I’m-gonna-kill-you-if-you-don’t disappear-for-a-while Disease. So, wash your hands, wipe the table down with a bleach rinse, break out a fresh deck of cards and have some fun with the family. Just be sure to switch to another fresh deck, whenever somebody coughs on their cards.

What can go wrong

You know what they say, “All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.”

I noticed that half the stories on the internet are about the virus, and the rest are sick jokes about the virus. Laughter is the best medicine. (Unless you have lots of insurance, a really good doctor, and a great prescription plan.) That’s one thing about Americans, though. Give us a disaster, any disaster, and within 24 hours we can do a whole routine on it. The World Trade Center broke us, though.   We didn’t have any quick one-line comebacks for that. This disease is bringing us back together again. We know it’s not funny, but we can laugh at ourselves, and keeping a sense of humor is important. I recently read that the very hot Carmen Electra said that most women will choose a funny guy over an interesting guy. She went on, however, to say that they will eventually become irritated with the funny guy, though, and dump him for an interesting guy. So, gents, keep your sense of humor, but try to make yourself more interesting, too.

shaking hands

One way to be more interesting is to read more books. The little tidbits you pick up in your reading will make conversations with you more interesting. Unless you are like me. I just finished Spillover by David Quammen. It’s all about how viruses spread. Cool, huh?

Well, I have to get back to washing my hands. I used to do it for as long as it took me to sing Happy Birthday twice. I’ve switched to singing American Pie…twice.

Be safe; Be healthy; and Be grateful to all the Superhero Health-Care professionals and others who are on the front-line fighting this thing.

Health Care Superheroes

 

Peace & Love, and all of the above,

Earl