What Do Women Want?

alan-alda-then the-duke-and-trump-1-19-2016 womens-march

There’s an old joke about God speaking to the Rabbi Jacob. “Jacob,” God says. “You are the most religious man on Earth. Your faith in Me is stronger than anyone else’s faith in Me. As a reward, I will grant you one wish – Whatever you want. So, tell Me, what would you like?”

Jacob answered without hesitation. “I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I am afraid to fly or sail in a big ship. So, I would like for You to build a highway from California to Hawaii so I can drive there.”

God gave this some thought and said, “The ocean is miles deep in some spots and there are huge waves and extreme tides. Building a highway across the ocean would be next to impossible. Is there maybe something else I could offer you instead?”

“Well,” said Jacob, “I don’t understand women. Could You explain women to me?”

God thought a brief moment and replied, “Do you want that highway to be 2 or 4 lanes?”


On the day after Donald Trump was inaugurated as the forty-fifth President of the United States, a gazillion women of all colors took to the streets to protest for women’s rights.  Back on Election Day, though, an estimated 53% of white women actually voted for Trump and voted against the first woman nominated for the Presidency by a major party.  By contrast, when the first black man ran for President he got 90% of the black vote.  According to some Republicans, Obama might even have gotten 125% of the black votes in places like Chicago.  White women derailed the election of the first woman President, a person who ran on a platform of women’s rights.  Now they were out in force protesting against the misogynist they helped to elect.

I can understand why the God in the joke thought it was easier to build a highway to Hawaii than to explain women. This election just didn’t make any sense to me.

Maybe God couldn’t explain women, but there was another almighty source of information available to me. I Googled, “What do women want?” It didn’t give me a definitive answer, but it told me what women want in a relationship. I figured that was a good place to start. According to the Elite Daily website, women want honesty, understanding, caring, strength, compassion, security, and blind loyalty. None of that sounded like Donald Trump to me, so I went to the next website on the Google list.

The Your Tango website said that women wanted respect, sex, romance, time, dinner, communication, consistency, engagement, humor, humility, and a challenge. That was a little more like it. The Donald had a few of those qualities, especially the challenging part, but he certainly did not have all of those qualities. So, I changed my inquiry question to “What do women want in a President?” I found that back during the campaign of 2012, Matthew Dowd at ABC News took a stab at answering that question. He said that women wanted a combination of Alan Alda and John Wayne. That combo certainly didn’t look like Donald Trump to me, but when I Googled “John Wayne and Donald Trump,” lo and behold, that wily rascal Donald Trump had a campaign stop and photo op at the John Wayne Memorial last January. Plus, Trump’s hair looks a little like Hawkeye’s hairstyle, and, like Alan Alda, Trump can be funny at times. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Hillary crack a joke.

So, I think Matthew Dowd may have guessed correctly. I still don’t understand women, but now I think I know what women want in a President, a combination of Alan Alda and John Wayne. That does not bode well for the election of a female Presidential candidate in the future, but the point is probably mute, because I seriously doubt if any political party will even nominate another woman for President next time. Old white men have won the Presidency 44 out of 45 times, so that is what the major political parties usually nominate. The Democrat’s attempt to catch lighting in a bottle with another Presidential first failed. As a result, prominent women Senators like Elizabeth Warren and Kirsten Gillibrand will probably not be given the consideration they deserve when the next Presidential election comes along. It won’t even help a woman candidate if she looks like John Wayne or Alan Alda, because even though that might help her get the women’s vote, it would certainly cost her the men’s votes.

Peace & Love, and all of the above,



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