A Suck for a Buck



It wasn’t the first Friday of the month, but it was Friday night, so I decided to check out 4 more bars in Lancaster.  I started with the place that’s billed as the “Friendliest Pub in Town,” Molly’s Pub.


Molly’s Pub was about a 6 block walk from my apartment, and it is in a quiet part of town, with no other bars nearby.  It’s across from one of the big parks in town.  They have a few tables outside, but I was by myself and on a scouting mission, so I headed indoors.  It looked very much like an Irish Pub, with a crowd of people dining at tables indoors.  There was only one open space available at the bar and I took it.


About a third of the people at the bar were eating, and about a third of them were having Calamari.  I didn’t know that Irish folk ate Calamari.  I certainly don’t.  Calamari, anchovies, and canned peas are three items I will only eat if I am shipwrecked on a desert island and that is all that washed ashore.  But the patrons at the bar were obviously relishing the dish.  Different strokes for different folks.  Fortunately, there were some people at the bar eating Irish Stew, so the place kept it’s Irish atmosphere.  I didn’t eat there, but I did stay for a few beers and the crowd was friendly.


The newly-opened Federal Taphouse was my next stop and, even though it’s enormous, it was packed.  There was absolutely no room at the bar, so I made a quick exit.


I made Yorgos my next stop.  I had been there before in the afternoon.  The beer and food was good, and there were quite a few nice looking women in the place, which always adds to the atmosphere.  Tonight, it was packed with college kids, but I managed to find a place to squeeze in at the bar.  Most of the customers were drinking beers and pounding shots.  I felt like a chaperone at a frat party, so I only stayed for one beer.


I headed for an out-of-the-way place I had discovered earlier in the day while walking to the dry cleaner.  It’s only a block from my apartment and it’s called The Alley Kat.  It was fairly crowded, but I found an open bar stool and quickly occupied it.  The crowd there was quite varied, and there were enough people my age for me to feel comfortable.  The Yuengling on tap was just $2.75 a pint.  That made me even more comfortable.


The barmaid asked me if I wanted to see a menu.  I wasn’t really hungry as I had eaten dinner before going out, but I decided that a little snack might hit the spot, so I ordered some mini-burgers.  They were absolutely delicious.  Cheap beer, nice crowd, great inexpensive food, just a block from my house – I quickly ranked it as one of my favorite place in town.  I stayed there for quite a few beers.


Naturally, all this liquid led to a pit stop, and on my way to the gent’s room I passed a table of young ladies, who were all wearing long bright pink boas.  One of them was wearing a white veil and they were all having a great time.  It was obvious that this was part of a bachelorette party, so as I walked past I said, “Happy Halloween.”  They stopped me and told me that it wasn’t a costume party.  They were raising money for the future bride’s wedding.  They asked me if I wanted a “suck for a buck.”


I had already decided that this might be one of my favorite bars in town, now I was positive.  With the speed of a magician, I produced a roll of singles and quickly handed one of them to the girl in the veil.  She reached into her goodie bag and gave me a lollipop.  I laughed out loud at their little Trick & Treat.  So, I actually got a suck and a yuck for my buck, a pretty good deal, even if it wasn’t the deal I had pictured in my dirty little mind.


A couple more beers and my tank was full.  I headed home with a big smile on my face, and a lollipop stuck right in the middle of it.


Peace & Love, and all of the above,


The Man Cave


I moved into my new apartment at the motel last Monday.  I expect to be here for a month or two until I find a more permanent residence.  Too bad Super Bowl isn’t coming up soon.  This place would be awesome for a Super Bowl Party.  There is a refrigerator right smack dab in the middle of the room.  That seemed strange, when I first saw it, but the first time I had to get up for a beer, and didn’t even have to get up, I was sold on the idea.

In addition to the cold beverage advantage for a Super Bowl party, this one-person studio apartment seats 8, with one of those seats being a Lazy Boy Chair with a heat and massage setting.  Dibs.  Plus, the TV is the size of a Buick.  It has a full-sized bed and a pull out couch, though I don’t think you could open the couch without moving the TV, and did I just mention that the TV is the size of a Buick.

It’s only one and a half rooms, but this place has everything, including the proverbial kitchen sink.

There are only two problems, the Wifi is not very reliable, and the wiring looks like it was done by either the Marx Brothers or the Three Stooges.  It is just a series of extension cords plugged into surge protectors that wind their way completely around the room.  I have no idea which wall switches control what.  To turn off a light, I just unscrew the bulb a little.  There is a toaster oven, but I haven’t tried that yet.  There are three all-you-can eat buffets within walking distance. Besides, I’m afraid that turning on another appliance would blow a fuse, if the wiring is indeed actually connected to a fuse box.  I count my blessings that the big TV and refrigerator both work at the same time.

The apartment WiFi is spotty.  Sometimes I have a signal.  Sometimes I don’t.  Fortunately, the motel WiFi always works, so when mine goes out and I have to do something on the Internet, I just take my laptop over to the front office of the motel.  I can also grab free coffee, juice, and donuts there, so sometimes I just pretend I lost my signal.

This place is a real man cave, and like I said, would be great for a Super Bowl party.  I asked for an apartment on Friday, and one suddenly became available on Sunday night.  I found it strange that the last guy living here vacated the place so suddenly.  When I walked in, I half expected to see a chalk outline on the floor.

Another reason this would be a great place for a Super Bowl party is noise suppression.  Last night, I decided to stay home and watch the Stakes races from Pocono Downs.  It was the first night that I didn’t go out and I was amazed by the amount of noise the walls could suppress.  Almost all of it.  Almost.  The volume control on my giant TV swallowed up the rest.  I hardly even knew that the couple in the next room were fighting, making up, fighting again, and making up again.

Plus, as a backup, in case the TV goes out, there is a bar almost right next door.  They’ve got good food, cheap beer, and great barmaids.  Hey, that might even be better than here for a Super Bowl Party.  They seat about 25.  I just wish they had free Wifi.


Peace & Love, and all of the above,